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Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disag v.5

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disag v. 5
These days, it seems that people are more likely to migrate to another countries than before. While there are some valid arguments to the contrary, in this paper I will argue that it is the responsibility of the newcomers to adapt to social norm of their adopted country. My reasons for this are twofold. Firstly, I believe that it is vitally important for the immigrants to observe the laws of their new country for the sake of social order. Imagine what would ensure if people refused to drive at the same side of the road. Other than that, newcomers should adjust to the rules of behavior in their adopted country regardless of any differences in their home country. There are many practices that are permitted in some countries but prohibited in others. Two salient examples for this, is the possession of firearms and smoking marijuana. Secondly and more importantly, although having a mixture of different cultures and traditions gives a country color and vibrancy, but in order to maintain societal cohesion it is essential for the newcomers to respect and obey the social norms of their new countries. Having too much cultural diversity undermines a society by alienating people from each other. On the other hand, similarities unite people and makes a society grow. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that immigrants should adjust to all the laws in their new country, both written and unwritten. As borders between countries are becoming more and more blurred, I believe this issue needs even more consideration in the future.
These days, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to migrate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid arguments to the contrary, in this paper I will argue that it is the responsibility of the newcomers to adapt to social norm of their adopted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. My reasons for this are twofold.

Firstly
, I believe that it is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the immigrants to observe the laws of their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for the sake of social order. Imagine what would ensure if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refused to drive at the same side of the road.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than that, newcomers should adjust to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of behavior in their adopted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
regardless of any differences in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practices that
are permitted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
prohibited in others. Two salient examples for this, is the possession of firearms and smoking marijuana.

Secondly
and more
importantly
, although having a mixture of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and traditions gives a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
color and vibrancy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in order to maintain societal cohesion it is essential for the newcomers to respect and obey the social norms of their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Having too much cultural diversity undermines a society by alienating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, similarities unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a society grow.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that immigrants should adjust to all the laws in their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, both written and unwritten. As borders between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming more and more blurred, I believe this issue needs even more consideration in the future.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disag v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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