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nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in therir adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behaviour. v.4

nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in therir adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behaviour. v. 4
Migration is increasing recently more than never been happened. The immigrants and local nations have met at the same value in the society without careless original nationality or ethnic ancestry linking to attitude. In this essay, I will discuss that harmful effect of migration and difficulties adapting in a new population. It is clear that migration is a major issue in the century and many countries face to it. In addition to this, immigrants have other problems such as political, economic and social. Host countries have not enough tolerance in order to change the dynamics of the society which altered by the new resident. Contradict to known, adaptation in a new population is rather hard, and many people never give up their habits, even if they have to it. For example, there are various body language which means saying hello in different cultures. In my country, you can just bow when you meet anybody, however, in other cultures, if you do this without speechless, it would not be kind. That is to say, every culture has different values and ethnic differences can be a matter. Doubtless, it is hard to adapt another population, even if you are an immigrant. On the other hand, some people who must leave their country among 0-18 years old can become integrated to their new location with learning local language or their profession, because they would be educated host country. Hard to say it, neither education nor language could not be enough or convenient acceptance of the society. The immigrants after two or three generations can accepted without judging in an optimistic vision. In conclusion, the number of immigrants is skyrocketing in this decade. In a balanced society, they should adopt in every value such as language, body languages. I completely agree to this integration is so hard with huge problems, however, everybody should be more conscious in this vitally important situation and they try to meet at a common point.
Migration is increasing recently more than never
been happened
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
and local nations have met at the same value in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without careless original nationality or ethnic ancestry linking to attitude. In this essay, I will discuss that harmful effect of migration and difficulties adapting in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
population.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that migration is a major issue in the century and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
face to it.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
have other problems such as political, economic and social. Host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
tolerance in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the dynamics of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which altered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
resident. Contradict to known, adaptation in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
population is
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
never give up their habits, even if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
it.
For example
, there are various body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which means saying hello in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, you can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
bow when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
anybody,
however
, in other cultures, if you do this without speechless, it would not be kind.
That is
to say, every culture has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values and ethnic differences can be a matter. Doubtless, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to adapt another population, even if you are an immigrant.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
among 0-18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
can become integrated to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
location with learning local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
or their profession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would
be educated
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hard
to say it, neither education nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
could not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
convenient


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
acceptance
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
after two or three generations can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
without judging in an optimistic vision.

In conclusion
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
is skyrocketing in this decade. In a balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, they should adopt in every value such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this integration is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
with huge problems,
however
, everybody should be more conscious in this
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
at a common point.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in therir adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behaviour. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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