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It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

It is extremely essential to build open space such as parks, playgrounds and squares in all urban as well as rural areas. If asked, I agree with this statement to a large extent. The most important argument proponents put forth is about numerous benefit from parks and gardens. To explain this, people can go to such places with their friends and relatives to unwind, playing sports and do some physical exercise. Also, one can make new friends which make better social bondage amongst the people. The another obvious argument is that it is very essential for children to visit the parks as well as playground twice in a week. For an illustration, by going such places children can make their physical health and also meet new friends. For example, it is better for children to go parks rather than stay home and playing video games and watching television. However, some others may counter argue with the reason that due to population explosion there are less place available to build such common areas. To explain this, a city like Mumbai, Delhi andAhmedabad has become more crowded day by day. So it is very difficult to left some places to make parks and squares. For an instance, recent survey has shown that approximately 20 percentage of apartment and business complex are built in a place of public common areas in most of urban areas due to lack of place. To conclude, in the light of the above discussion, it can be finally stated there there are many reason to do not construct common areas. Although, my arguments justify that it is very beneficial for physical health social bondage of each and every individuals.
It is
extremely
essential to build open space such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, playgrounds and squares in all urban
as well
as rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. If asked, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement to a large extent. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
argument proponents put forth is about numerous benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can go to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with their friends and relatives to unwind, playing sports and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical exercise.
Also
, one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
new friends which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
better social bondage amongst the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The another obvious argument is that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for children to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
as well
as playground twice in a week. For an illustration, by going such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
children can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their physical health and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends.
For example
, it is better for children to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
rather
than stay home and playing video games and watching television.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others may counter argue with the reason that due to population explosion there are less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
available to build such common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this, a city like Mumbai, Delhi
Possible spelling mistake found.
andAhmedabad
has become more crowded day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
The verb after “to” should be in the base form: “leave”.
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and squares. For an instance, recent survey has shown that approximately 20 percentage of apartment and business complex
are built
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of public common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in most of urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
To conclude
, in the light of the above discussion, it can be
finally
stated
Possible typo: you repeated a word
there there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reason to do not construct common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Although, my arguments justify that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for physical health social bondage of each and every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “individual”?
individuals
.
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Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay It isImportant to construct common areas such as parks, playground and squares in all town and cities.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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