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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development. v.5

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development. v. 5
In present situation people prefer to communicate with other through internet compare to personal conversation. In my opinion, this is a positive development by which people can update himself by express their views, ideas and interact easily with family members and friends. One important benefit is that due to competitive situation people live all over the world by using internet it increases social bond. What i mean by this is that for education, employment and other social reason members from one family live different places but through Facebook, Instagram they can easily talk, see each other via video conference which not disconnect them. Even though they situated remote location, they can celebrate public functions as well as personal celebration like birthday, weeding ceremony and easily wish themselves. Not only interact within family but also they can broaden their global knowledge and express views, customs of own country which also helps in representing own culture in international platform. For example, when university or other international organizations organize different program like independence day at that time people in different countries represent themselves. Another beneficiary issue is easy access or use of technological advancement. In other words, when any new invention or research published people can informed by online within a minute. More importantly, students get opportunities to take part in distance learning as well as online coaching through Internets whats app group, you tubes etc. In conclusion, i think that to get information, socialize with nearest and dearest ones and develop anybody' s view internet is progressive development of 21st century.
In present situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
through internet compare to personal conversation. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can update himself by express their views,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and interact
easily
with family members and friends.

One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit is that due to competitive situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
all over the world by using internet it increases social bond. What
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
mean by this is that for education, employment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social reason members from one family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
through Facebook, Instagram they can
easily
talk,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
via video conference which not disconnect them.
Even though
they situated remote location, they can celebrate public functions
as well
as personal celebration like birthday, weeding ceremony and
easily
wish themselves. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interact within family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can broaden their global knowledge and express views, customs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in representing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture in international platform.
For example
, when university or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
international organizations organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
program like
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
independence day
at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries represent themselves.

Another beneficiary issue is easy access or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technological advancement. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when any new invention or research published
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can informed by online within a minute. More
importantly
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in distance learning
as well
as online coaching through Internets
Did you mean "WhatsApp" (= Messenger) or "what's up" (= question)?
whats app
group, you
The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "tube"
tubes
etc.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information, socialize with nearest and dearest ones and develop
Possible spelling mistake found.
anybody&
#039; s view internet is progressive development of 21st century.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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