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When children start School teacher have a bigger influence on their academic and social development compare to their parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v.1

When children start School teacher have a bigger influence on their academic and social development compare to their parents. Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1
Children are extremely smart to adapt different things rapidly and they often learn different things at school and home. One of the most controversial issue today relates to that, in social and academic development of child; who plays a major role parents or school teachers? I completely agree that teachers have more influence on a child as compared to parents and explain it through some examples and assertions and shape od my opinion by the end, in the further piece of essay. The first step to understand that, why teachers have more guidance on children instead of parents? Broadly speaking, the prominent reason is new technology in schools. Schools and teachers have acquired advanced techniques of teaching that are more effective but parents can not afford that much time to consume these methods as they are busy in there jobs and house responsibilities. Similarly, they also use some props to involve the child into the work which increase intelligence level of child. In this way, children show more interest and adapt things in fascinating way and do not get bored easily. Moreover, there power of adapting things become more strong. As a result teachers methods are more influential. The second foremost reason is time. Generally speaking, children spend most of the time in school rather than in home. They are in school for eight hours and when they come back home they are extremely tired and often go to sleep. In addition; nowadays, schools also have timetable for moral value classes in which teachers tell some basic ethical values to children such as, wishing good morning or good night to everyone and saying thank you when they receive something. Further, teachers also introduce students to each other, which incline their social communication skills. For instance, in a report study of Finland it was found that maximum number of children learn most of the academic and social activities in schools as Finland' s education system is number one education system in the world. In conclusion, I tend to believe that, in the developing countries people do not have sufficient time to teach their child as they are working hard to provide best education for them and due to that children spend more time with teachers and get influenced more by them in both the skills.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
extremely
smart to adapt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rapidly and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and home. One of the most controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to that, in social and academic development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
; who plays a major role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
? I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more influence on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples and assertions and shape
Possible spelling mistake found.
od
my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, in the
further
piece of essay.

The
first
step to understand that, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more guidance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
?
Broadly
speaking, the prominent reason is new technology in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have acquired advanced techniques of teaching that are more effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can not afford that much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to consume these methods as they are busy in
Did you mean "their"?
there
jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
responsibilities.
Similarly
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
props to involve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
into the work which increase intelligence level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
more interest and adapt things in fascinating way and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored
easily
.
Moreover
, there power of adapting things become more strong.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
methods are more influential.

The second foremost reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Generally
speaking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rather
than in home. They are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for eight hours and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home they are
The extreme adjective for tired is "exhausted".
extremely tired
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to sleep. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
; nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
have timetable for moral value classes in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic ethical values to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as, wishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
morning or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
night to everyone and saying thank you when they receive something.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
also
introduce students to each other, which incline their social communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, in a report study of Finland it
was found
that maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn most of the academic and social activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finland&
#039; s education system is number one education system in the world.

In conclusion
, I tend to believe that, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as they are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "provide the best".
provide best
education for them and due to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced more by them in both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay When children start School teacher have a bigger influence on their academic and social development compare to their parents. Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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