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Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. with this opinion? v. 3
Now, most of people decide stay with their friends or alone rather than with their families. This phenomenon has negative impact on society. I agree that people who live without their families will make uncomfortable their communities. Firstly, a large majority of societies thinking about the people who stay without control with their families, it will make they become uncontrollable like comeback to home early morning and invite their friends to stay up together and make disturb their neighbor. Secondly, living with friends or alone will be danger because without their families so no body to protect and control them. So if there is thief it makes the people in bad situation. Finally, the people cannot live alone because they need people around them to help or keep if they have a trouble. And the most important for many people are family. So they should stay with their family in order to safety and make their neighbor feel comfortable to live close with them. In conclusion, I think people should choose live with their families because it make people more safety and keep them from bad situation. So, it make communities cozy to stay near with them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
with their friends or alone
rather
than with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This phenomenon has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
uncomfortable their communities.

Firstly
, a large majority of societies thinking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
without control with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
they become uncontrollable like comeback to home early morning and invite their friends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
up together and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
disturb their neighbor.

Secondly
, living with friends or alone will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "nobody"?
no body
to protect and control them.
“So if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So if
there is thief it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
if they have a trouble. And the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in order to safety and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their neighbor feel comfortable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
close with them.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more safety and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
communities cozy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
near with them.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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