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Nowadays more and more personal vehicles pollute the environment Please list some causes and solutions v.1

Nowadays more and more personal vehicles pollute the environment Please list some causes and solutions v. 1
Advertisement plays a major role in people’s lifestyle and now-a-days it is impossible to avoid them. Some people argue that advertisement leads to the purchase of unnecessary things. I strongly disagree with this statement and the reasons for my opinion will be discussed in this essay. Firstly, advertising a new product not only improve our lives but also make it easier. For instance, Printers make our work easier by making copies of any material quickly at home. We can also spend our time and money efficiently by using this kind of products. People can purchase essential things for their own use or as a gift to some others in offers during any occasion with the use of advertisements. Moreover, advertisement not only useful to buy things, but also to create awareness about people’s health and fitness. For example, the Government needs the help of advertisement to introduce a vaccination for an outbreak disease. This will be an effective method to reach everyone in a short span. In addition to that, advertising fitness club offers and facilities will attract more people to have a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, because of the above reasons, I believe advertisements are more important in every aspect of people. However, it is our decision whether to buy an item or not that is advertised. So, we must think wisely and spend our money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
plays a major role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days it is impossible to avoid them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of unnecessary things. I
strongly
disagree with this statement and the reasons for my opinion will
be discussed
in this essay.

Firstly
, advertising a new product not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier.
For instance
, Printers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our work easier by making copies of any material
quickly
at home. We can
also
spend our time and money
efficiently
by using this kind of products.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
essential things for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or as a gift to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others in offers during any occasion with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of advertisements.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to create awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health and fitness.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
needs the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to introduce a vaccination for an outbreak disease. This will be an effective method to reach everyone in a short span.
In addition
to that, advertising fitness club offers and facilities will attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the above reasons, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, it is our decision whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an item or not that
is advertised
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wisely
and spend our money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more personal vehicles pollute the environment Please list some causes and solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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