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Nowadays environmental problems are among the most critical questions What are the causes Would you give at least one possible solution v.1

Nowadays environmental problems are among the most critical questions What are the causes Would you give at least one possible solution v. 1
Numerous working individuals find exercise neither in their work days nor in their leisure time, therefore do they suffer from health issues. I think busy work life and indoor games or laziness are some of the reasons for not exercising, however some motivation can solve these problems. To begin with, in recent times people have been extremely busy with their professional and personal lives. Firstly, to survive in this competitive world, people do overtime and by the time they reach home, it is already late and they are too tired to hit the gym, instead they prefer to sleep and relax. Secondly, even in their free time some people feel lethargic to work out and choose to watch television and play video or indoor games. For example, my neighbour had gained 60 kg weight after adapting sedentary lifestyle, which had contributed to bad health issues like obesity and heart problems. On the other hand, there are several ways in which such problems can be solved. To begin, if people at work encourage each other to take the stairs, they will get some movements rather than just seating or standing in one place. To explain, in my work place colleagues reward each other for taking the stairs. Moreover, in their free time families and friends should motivate each other to go out in parks or on the beach to play or swim. For example, my neighbour has planned out her leisure time one week in a park with family to play and next week with friends on the beach for swimming or playing volleyball. In conclusion, although modern and fast working lives are damaging people’s health, above mentioned few things can be done to reverse health problems.
Numerous working individuals find exercise neither in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
days nor in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
therefore
do they suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life and indoor games or laziness are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons for not exercising,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivation can solve these problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
extremely
busy with their professional and personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
, to survive in this competitive world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do overtime and by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they reach home, it is already
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
late and
they are too tired to hit the gym,
instead
they prefer to sleep and relax.
Secondly
, even in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel lethargic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out and choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television and play video or indoor games.
For example
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
had gained 60 kg weight after adapting sedentary lifestyle, which had contributed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues like obesity and heart problems.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are several ways in which such problems can
be solved
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
encourage each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to take the stairs, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
movements
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
seating or standing in one place. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place colleagues reward each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for taking the stairs.
Moreover
, in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
families and friends should motivate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to go out in parks or on the beach to play or swim.
For example
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
has planned out her leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
one week in a park with family to play and
next
week with friends on the beach for swimming or playing volleyball.

In conclusion
, although modern and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, above mentioned few things can
be done
to reverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Nowadays environmental problems are among the most critical questions What are the causes Would you give at least one possible solution v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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