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Nowadays more and more personal vehicles pollute the environment Please list some causes and solutions v.2

Nowadays more and more personal vehicles pollute the environment Please list some causes and solutions v. 2
Nowadays, the usage of personal means of transport is very common in modern societies. Besides the benefits of using personal vehicles, there are many disadvantages causing dangerous influences on people and the environment. This essay has an intention to raise some fundamental causes as well as proposing some feasible solutions to deal with this heated question. It is observable fact that the overuse of private cars leads to traffic congestion and more motor vehicles mean more pollution. For instance, in metro cities, every person has their own car, which means a large number of vehicles will move and create a long line with each other causing traffic jams. At the same time, a large amount of exhaust gas and dust are emitted from cars causing air pollution and endanger human respiration. For example respiratory diseases such as asthma, bronchitis and so on. In addition, the noise from vehicles affects not only the hearing organs but also the central nervous system and plant nervous system of humans, heart activity, which causes many dangerous diseases. There is some evidence that, in high noise conditions, people become tired and result in straining their hearing at high frequencies. Moreover, the ozone layer depletion due to a consequence of pollution can cause skin problems. The possible solution to these problems is to maximize the use of public transport. The government should completely build a system of public transportation. Encouraging people to use the bus as well as limiting personal vehicles in the city. Moreover, expanding roads and sidewalks simultaneously planting more trees around the city. Furthermore, the use of public transport also saves the expenditure which we spend on buying own means of transportation. In conclusion, although it is hard to manage this global problem in a short time, every effort from the cooperation between communities and the government will play an important role in protecting the environment in particular and the ecological balance of the earth in general.
Nowadays, the usage of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of transport is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in modern societies.
Besides
the benefits of using personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
influences on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the environment. This essay has an intention to raise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fundamental causes
as well
as proposing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions to deal with this heated question.

It is observable fact that the overuse of private cars leads to traffic congestion and more motor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
more pollution.
For instance
, in metro cities, every person has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and create a long line with each other causing traffic jams. At the same time, a large amount of exhaust gas and dust
are emitted
from cars causing air pollution and endanger human respiration.
For example
respiratory diseases such as asthma, bronchitis and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In addition
, the noise from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
affects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the hearing organs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the central nervous system and plant nervous system of humans, heart activity, which causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidence that, in high noise conditions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become tired and result in straining their hearing at high frequencies.
Moreover
, the ozone layer depletion due to a consequence of pollution can cause skin problems.

The possible solution to these problems is to maximize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public transport. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should completely build a system of public transportation. Encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bus
as well
as limiting personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
in the city.
Moreover
, expanding roads and sidewalks
simultaneously
planting more trees around the city.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public transport
also
saves the expenditure which we spend on buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
of transportation.

In conclusion
, although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to manage this global problem in a short time, every effort from the cooperation between communities and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in protecting the environment
in particular
and the ecological balance of the earth
in general
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more personal vehicles pollute the environment Please list some causes and solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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