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Nowadays more and more people prefer to buy fashionable clothes. Does this have positive or negative effect. Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Nowadays more and more people prefer to buy fashionable clothes. Does this have positive or negative effect. Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Innovative fads in terms of outfits are coming into existence in this dazzling world. Presently, majority of people are passionate for latest fashion trends and they have tendency to buy dashing attires more frequently than ever before. This essay intends to discuss this phenomena has more negative outcomes than positives. There are manifold benefits of this happening. First and foremost, people are becoming extravagant under the influence of stylish garments. To illustrate, fashion industry launches designer and catchy dresses that are quite expensive. Modern outfits are made of latest designs and quality fabric in order to incite people towards such clothes. Hence, people are supposed to be spendthrift these day. Further emphasizing on my point of view, the importance of traditional values is disappearing nowadays under this approach. To demonstrate, people are interested to buy ravishing attires and therefore traditional clothes are no longer of that importance. Last but not least, the trend is likely to have an adverse affect on environment. To justify, buying more and more dresses leads to excessive consumerism. What is more, abundance of natural resources are used for manufacturing clothes, packaging materials in the clothing industry. Consequently, this practice is going to cause ecological hazards. On the contrary, opposite wind is also there. To commence with, people who purchase trendy outfits become good looking personality. As a result, they can impress others by their astonishing outlooks. Furthermore, people can get rid of monotony of wearing same styles of clothes. Hence, buying new dresses brings changes in the dressing sense and make people feel delighted and confident. Rising business of clothing is providing employment opportunities to fashion designers, models, labourers and manufacturers. To recapitulate, wearing dresses emerges artistic expressions of living. Undeniably, this happening has few merits. However, its demerits are weightier than merits.
Innovative fads in terms of outfits are coming into existence in this dazzling world.
Presently
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are passionate for latest fashion
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trends and
they have tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
dashing attires more
frequently
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay intends to discuss
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes than positives.

There are manifold benefits of this happening.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming extravagant under the influence of stylish garments. To illustrate, fashion industry launches designer and catchy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
that are quite expensive. Modern outfits
are made
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
designs and quality fabric in order to incite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are supposed
to be spendthrift
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view, the importance of traditional values is disappearing nowadays under this approach. To demonstrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ravishing attires and
therefore
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are no longer of that importance. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the trend is likely to have an adverse
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on environment. To justify, buying more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
leads to excessive consumerism.
What is more
, abundance of natural resources are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, packaging materials in the clothing industry.
Consequently
, this practice is going to cause ecological hazards.
On the contrary
, opposite wind is
also
there.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
trendy outfits become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
personality.
As a result
, they can impress others by their astonishing outlooks.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of monotony of wearing same styles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Hence
, buying new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
brings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the dressing sense and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel delighted and confident. Rising business of clothing is providing employment opportunities to fashion designers, models,
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
and manufacturers.

To recapitulate, wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
emerges artistic expressions of living.
Undeniably
, this happening has few merits.
However
, its demerits are weightier than merits.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people prefer to buy fashionable clothes. Does this have positive or negative effect. Give reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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