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More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development v.1

More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development v. 1
Education is pioneer of student fortune. But some suitable & adequate students could not access to the universities. Some argue that wealthy and indigent both go through trouble in getting admission to the varsities. In my opinion, children from affluent families easily get admission into institutes. However, it is quite difficult for poor. To begin with, rich students have many chances to take a seat for higher study in institutions. In private organizations, they have reserved seats for wealthy families, students, that pays an enormous fee. In other words, if their child could not get higher grades, they provide donation and if institute don’t initiate for admission to their child, they have many notorious contacts to get access to the varsity. For example, even if the students do not get excel in academics they have influential contacts of trustees and recommendation of politicians might be aidful to them. In fact, with this privilege, their children can get admission effortless. On the other hand, youngster with non-affluent family background or no top influences might be hard to accessibility. Poor students could get scholarships, but for limited students only. It’s an arduous way for poor to deal with these conditions. According to Hindustan Unilever movement named “Shiksha”, 30% of Indian intellectuals, students could not get access to the universities due to circumstances related to money. Finally, it is easier to accessibility into educational organizations for magnate families’ children, it’s difficult for indigent children. No matter what, education is everywhere, if you could not get admission in institutes, does not mean that your future will be blurry. Try to find your own ways to get information.
Education is pioneer of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
fortune.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suitable & adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could not access to the universities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that wealthy and indigent both go through trouble in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
to the varsities. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
into institutes.
However
, it is quite difficult for poor.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to take a seat for higher study in institutions. In private organizations, they have reserved seats for wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, that pays an enormous fee.
In other words
, if their child could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher grades, they provide donation and if institute don’t initiate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
to their child, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
notorious contacts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to the varsity.
For example
, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
excel in academics they have influential contacts of trustees and recommendation of politicians might be
Possible spelling mistake found.
aidful
to them. In fact, with this privilege, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
effortless.

On the other hand
, youngster with non-affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background or no top influences might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to accessibility. Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scholarships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. It’s an arduous way for poor to deal with these conditions. According to Hindustan Unilever movement named “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shiksha
”, 30% of Indian intellectuals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to the universities due to circumstances related to money.

Finally
, it is easier to accessibility into educational organizations for magnate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it’s difficult for indigent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. No matter what, education is everywhere, if you could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in institutes, does not mean that your future will be blurry. Try to find your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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