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Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 12: A/D? It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v.2

Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 12: A/D? It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2
There is no doubt that every single subject area is so broad that nobody can specialize in all of them. However, some people are inclined toward the opinion that it is better to broaden the knowledge in many academic subjects whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective, believing that everybody should become expert in one specific subject area. The way I see it, we should major in a certain field of study due to the effects of knowledge on future life and the situations that we encounter. What follows is the elaboration of my viewpoint. The first reason that immediately comes to mind is that the knowledge has a great impact on our career and professional life. In this regard, the man who has a deep knowledge of a certain subject area faces better job opportunities than the man who has a shallow knowledge of several subjects. Nowadays, companies and corporations are looking for a professional expert who can cope quite well with their duties and profession which requires a deep knowledge of issue. Therefore, a person with profound information about a single topic can deal with occupational matters very well. Another equally important reason is that every subject is so broad that anybody cannot get deep information about every subject and superficial understanding of a topic will cause serious problems. That is to say, although knowing about diverse academic subjects gives a breadth of vision, modern issues are so complicated that one needs knowledge of great depth to solve them. For example, the economy of each country has a worldwide spillover effect that only an economy expert can interpret the situations and find solutions to the problems which in turn, needs a profound understanding of economics and the relationship between countries. As a result, a superficial knowledge of many academic subjects cannot help to solve complicated situations. Conclusively, if one assesses the aforementioned effects of specializing in one certain field, one soon realizes that profound understanding of the issues plays a decisive role in every individual' s future life and every complicated occasion. This means that deep knowledge of one subject outweighs superficial education of several subjects because it provides better job opportunities and solutions for today' s complicated situations.
There is no doubt that every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
area is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
broad that nobody can specialize in all of them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that it is better to broaden the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective, believing that everybody should become expert in one specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
area. The way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it, we should major in a certain field of study due to the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on future life and the situations that we encounter. What follows is the elaboration of my viewpoint.

The
first
reason that immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
has a great impact on our career and professional life. In this regard, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
area faces better job opportunities than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who has a shallow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and corporations are looking for a professional expert who can cope quite well with their duties and profession which requires a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of issue.
Therefore
, a person with profound information about a single topic can deal with occupational matters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.

Another
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
broad that anybody cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
information about every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and superficial understanding of a topic will cause serious problems.
That is
to say, although knowing about diverse academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
gives a breadth of vision, modern issues are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complicated
that one needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of great depth to solve them.
For example
, the economy of each country has a worldwide spillover effect that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an economy expert can interpret the situations and find solutions to the problems which in turn, needs a profound understanding of economics and the relationship between countries.
As a result
, a superficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complicated
situations.

Conclusively
, if one assesses the aforementioned effects of specializing in one certain field, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realizes that profound understanding of the issues plays a decisive role in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s future life and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complicated
occasion. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
outweighs superficial education of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides better job opportunities and solutions for
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complicated
situations.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 12: A/D? It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific subject. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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