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Nowadays, more and more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v.2

Nowadays, more and more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 2
In contemporary society, it has been more and more popular among adults to delay having children until they reach middle age. There are some reasons behind this tendency and the trend carries out significant drawbacks outweigh its benefits. The first and perhaps the most significant reason is that people crave to enjoy their life before they have new family member. For instance, they spend their time on travelling to the world or relaxing in recreational facilities. Another possible reason is parents want to provide their children with strong financial support which can satisfy the requirements. So that it is reasonable for them wait until they have accumulated much more money to guarantee a fulfilled material life for their children. It is true that, there are some advantages obtained from procrastination of having offspring. Strong family income enables to take high quality education or to have nutritious meals for children n. However, I presume that disadvantages of this trend are more convincing. According to recent statistics, older mothers are more likely in danger their life during they give birth even it lead to their death. A number of feeble and unhealthy infants might be born or possibility of pregnancy decrease as a result of postponing having children. In the long turn, this may be affect on the overall competence of the future workplace. Taking everything into consideration, although nowadays majority of adults decide to have children in their middle age, I believe that this tendency indicates more downsides rather than advantages.
In contemporary society, it has been more and more popular among adults to delay having
children
until they reach middle age. There are
some
reasons behind this tendency and the trend carries out significant drawbacks outweigh its benefits.

The
first
and perhaps the most significant reason is that
people
crave to enjoy their life
before
they have new family member.
For instance
, they spend their time on travelling to the world or relaxing in recreational facilities. Another possible reason is parents want to provide their
children
with strong financial support which can satisfy the requirements.
So
that it is reasonable for them wait until they have accumulated much more money to guarantee a fulfilled material life for their children.

It is true that, there are
some
advantages obtained from procrastination of having offspring. Strong family income enables to take high quality education or to have nutritious meals for
children
n.
However
, I presume that disadvantages of this trend are more convincing. According to recent statistics, older mothers are more likely in
danger
their life during they give birth even it lead to their death. A number of feeble and unhealthy infants might
be born
or possibility of pregnancy decrease
as a result
of postponing having
children
. In the long turn, this may be
affect
on the
overall
competence of the future workplace.

Taking everything into consideration, although nowadays
majority of
adults decide to have
children
in their middle age, I believe that this tendency indicates more downsides
rather
than advantages.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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