Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 5
There has been a change in the social status of people in the current time, whether its getting married or having children. Individuals now delay on having an offspring. There could be various reasons which they want to attain before having an offspring, such as career goals and financial stability. In my view, there are more advantages to this approach. In my essay I will discuss both the views. One of the disadvantages when the people decide to have an adolescent at a later stage, could be the medical issues. As we are aware that our human body has a certain way of responding, it is very likely that after a stage it is difficult for a woman to get pregnant. Hence, this could dishearten the couple when they decide to conceive a child at a later period of life. However, there are various advantages due to, which a couple decides to prolong his parenthood. One the advantages could be, having the financial stability. As the expenses of having a child is extremely high, and it cannot be managed if the person does not have the financial ability. For example, In my country the average age of marriage is round 27-28 years. At this age of life, it is very unlikely that the individuals would be financially very sound. Hence this could a reason they defer having the child for a later stage in life. In addition, the individuals are also not very mature to handle all the pressure that can a raise from having a child. Moreover, the more days the individual are very career oriented. The generation of today is highly competitive and most of them have a goal they are striving to achieve. This is one of the reasons that parenthood takes a back seat. People prioritise their work and career, most of them are in a view that being a parent could shift their focus. For example, in the recent survey, the rate of single people has increased significantly. Hence, it is very clear people have set priorities which defer to the past generation. In conclusion, I believe that it is important to have the maturity and financial stability when two individuals plan to enter parenthood, as it comes with huge responsibilities and expenses. However, one should also keep in mind the age factor, which can affect the birth of an offspring.
There has been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the social status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time, whether its getting married or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
delay on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an offspring. There could be various reasons which they want to attain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an offspring, such as career goals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
stability. In my view, there are more advantages to this approach. In my essay I will discuss both the views.

One of the disadvantages when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to have an adolescent at a later stage, could be the medical issues. As we are aware that our human body has a certain way of responding, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely that after a stage it is difficult for a woman to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pregnant.
Hence
, this could dishearten the couple when they decide to conceive a child at a later period of life.

However
, there are various advantages due to, which a couple decides to prolong his parenthood. One the advantages could be,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
stability. As the expenses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a child is
extremely
high, and it cannot
be managed
if the person does not have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
ability.
For example
, In my country the average age of marriage is round 27-28 years. At this age of life, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unlikely that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
would be
financially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sound.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this could a reason they defer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the child for a later stage in life.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are
also
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
mature to handle all the pressure that can a raise from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a child.

Moreover
, the more days the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
career oriented. The generation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
highly
competitive and most of them have a goal they are striving to achieve. This is one of the reasons that parenthood takes a back seat.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
their work and career, most of them are in a view that being a parent could shift their focus.
For example
, in the recent survey, the rate of single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has increased
significantly
.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have set priorities which defer to the past generation.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have the maturity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
stability when two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
plan to enter parenthood, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with huge responsibilities and expenses.
However
, one should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the age factor, which can affect the birth of an offspring.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
396 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts