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Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v.1

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 1
In modern society, there is an upward tendency in the trend of becoming parents later of many couples. From my perspective, it gives more disadvantageous than advantageous influences. With regard to benefits, there are two main points that people make a decision to give birth at later stages of life. Firstly, they have more time to enjoy their life when they are young. It is understandable that when they have babies, most of time for personal hobbies and passions usually reduces and instead they spend this time raising their children. The second point is ensuring finance that supports for their children to live in a better condition. More often than not they just start their career and have lower income so they decide to focus on earning money until they have strong finance enough to take responsibility of their children. However, it is undeniable that drawbacks of having babies later bring to family life and society. The more time they spend delaying to have babies, the more negative the impact on both giving and raising babies. In fact, it is hard for mothers over the age of 35 to ensure health for both mothers and babies in the prenatal and postnatal period. Because at that ages, the health and physiology of women are not as good as when they were young. Therefore, their babies being born may be less physically healthy. In addition, the choice of having children later usually make an age gap between two generations. This creates an barrier to understand and communicate with their offspring in parenting. In conclusion, there are some reasons why current people prefer to have babies when being older, but I believed that this makes more negative than positive impacts for on family life.
In modern society, there is an upward tendency in the trend of becoming parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples. From my perspective, it gives more disadvantageous than advantageous influences.

With regard to benefits, there are two main points that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision to give birth at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when they are young. It is understandable that when they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for personal hobbies and passions
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
and
instead
they spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
raising their children. The second point is ensuring finance that supports for their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a better condition. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career and have lower income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they decide to focus on earning money until they have strong finance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take responsibility of their children.

However
, it is undeniable that drawbacks of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
bring to family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and society. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend
The verb 'delaying' is used with the gerund form: "delaying having".
delaying to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
, the more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
the impact on both giving and raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
. In fact, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for mothers over the age of 35 to ensure health for both mothers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
in the prenatal and postnatal period.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
at that ages, the health and physiology of women are not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as when they were young.
Therefore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
being born
may be less
physically
healthy.
In addition
, the choice of having children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an age gap between two generations. This creates
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
barrier to understand and communicate with their offspring in parenting.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
when being older,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believed that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts for on family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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