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"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up. " To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

It is believed that fatherhood is as important as motherhood for upbringing a child. Some people argue that mothers are accountable for raising their children up. It is agreed that an equality in parenthood is must. This essay will discuss roles of parents to play and a shared responsibility of parenthood before coming to a reasoned conclusion. To begin with, there are numerous reasons that support the idea that both parents have different roles to play, but the most conspicuous one is rooted in the fact that fatherhood is as lauded as motherhood. Even though fathers are taking a responsibility to run the family, modern mothers are also expecting to continue their careers after having babies. Consequently, the idea of parenting has changed in the recent years. Fathers are also cuddling with children, changing their nappies and looking after them in the absence of their mothers. Of course, newborn babies require extra care from mother, but the fathers’ affection is as valuable as mothers. Therefore, father's care plays an important role. Moreover, It is practically impossible to care a child for one person and still pursue a demanding career. Mothers have to do cooking and other household activities along with raising a child. Nevertheless, young mothers want to continue their career after having a baby and expect their husbands to take part in the upbringing activities. Additionally, fathers also a necessary role to play. For example, if a child is being harassed, father is the first person to be approached for support. Children feel more secure with their father. Therefore, parenthood should be a shared responsibility. To conclude, an equal importance of fatherhood and motherhood has been discussed. Both parents have to play different roles to raise a child. Although Mothers are mostly the care takers, fathers are supporting financially. However, the idea of parenthood has changed now as mothers are also working. Hence, both parents should have accountability for raising children.
It
is believed
that fatherhood is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as motherhood for upbringing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that mothers are accountable for raising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
up. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that an equality in parenthood is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. This essay will discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
and a shared responsibility of parenthood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a reasoned conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous reasons that support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most conspicuous one
is rooted
in the fact that fatherhood is as lauded as motherhood.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
are taking a responsibility to run the family, modern mothers are
also
expecting to continue their careers after having babies.
Consequently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of parenting has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the recent years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fathers
are
also
cuddling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, changing their
‘nappies’ is a common British expression. Consider using expressions more common to American English.
nappies
and looking after them in the absence of their mothers.
Of course
, newborn babies require extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers’
affection is as valuable as mothers.
Therefore
, father's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.

Moreover
, It is
practically
impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
for one person and
still
pursue a demanding career. Mothers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do cooking and other household activities along with raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
Nevertheless
, young mothers want to continue their career after having a baby and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their husbands to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the upbringing activities.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
also
a necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
being harassed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
is the
first
person to
be approached
for support.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
feel more secure with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
.
Therefore
, parenthood should be a shared responsibility.

To conclude
, an equal importance of fatherhood and motherhood has
been discussed
. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
to raise a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Although Mothers are
mostly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
takers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
are supporting
financially
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of parenthood has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as mothers are
also
working.
Hence
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should have accountability for raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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