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Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantage? v.2

Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantage? v. 2
As the development of computer network in modern life, more people in business field prefer to attend online session and education more than in person. I personally believe that the benefits of the online trend for business sitting and training in these days far outweigh the drawbacks. On the plus side, there are some advantages in taking a part in commerce meeting and educating. To begin with, online trade session and training leads to perform an expand sitting. Simply put, in this extend session more people can attend. Take extend sitting for example, taking place many people in this session bring about extraordinary different comments which contributes to deduce more sophisticated. Furthermore, people from all over the world could be present at this expand sitting. Therefore, development of computer network brings about this extend business session, which leads to many benefits like taking part more people also people from all over the world. These advantages could not take place without computer network evolution. However, the downside cannot be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with attending more people in these expand online commerce meetings. That is to say, taking place more participant in these sittings results in the great dispute comment which is highly likely bring about controversial topics. Considering that, participants in these expands online commerce session are not present in person to have a conversation with more details then these great debates take place. A good illustration for this, an expert who attends in these expands online commerce meetings can be talking about a fact about trade, but it won’t appreciate just like what it is and this will bring some disagreements. Moreover, participants in these extends online trade sessions which result in argument due to different interpretation; highly likely to cannot talk about their actual explanation and their statement can be deduced incorrectly. To conclude, regardless of drawbacks, I think that development in computer network brings about many benefits for business session and training such as more people could take place and different interpretation likely to be heard.
As the development of computer
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network
in modern life, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
field prefer to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
session
and education more than in person. I
personally
believe that the benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sitting
and training in these days far outweigh the drawbacks.

On the plus side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages in taking a part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commerce
meeting and educating. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
trade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
session
and training leads to perform an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sitting
.
Simply
put, in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
session
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can attend. Take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sitting
for example
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
session
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
about extraordinary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
comments which contributes to deduce more sophisticated.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world could be present at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sitting
.
Therefore
, development of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
session
, which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits like taking part more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world. These advantages could not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
without computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
evolution.

However
, the downside cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The most axiomatic argument
is concerned
with attending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commerce
meetings.
That is
to say, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
more participant in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sittings
results in the great dispute comment which is
highly
likely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
about controversial topics. Considering that, participants in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
session
are not present in person to have a conversation with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
Did you mean "than"?
then
these great debates take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this, an expert who attends in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commerce
meetings can be talking about a fact about trade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it won’t appreciate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like what it is and this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreements.
Moreover
, participants in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
trade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sessions
which result in argument due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interpretation;
highly
likely to cannot talk about their actual explanation and their statement can
be deduced
incorrectly
.

To conclude
, regardless of drawbacks, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that development in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
session
and training such as more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interpretation likely to
be heard
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantage? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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