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In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v.6

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 6
Nowadays, the way people are living as a family has been changed. The family structure, as well as the responsibility is different, as compared to that of our ancestors. This incorporates both positive and negative developments, which is discussed below. To begin with, the positive alteration that has taken place, is the eradication of a narrow thinking mindset. Previously, people were used to be very overprotective of their children. Also, they want them to live the way, they think is good for them. It is not always necessary that, the mindset of a parent and offspring is same. Therefore, it is better for the guardians to perceive with a broad vision, and to allow their young ones to choose the path they want, within the capacity of their defined boundaries. This also helps in increasing their confidence as they become more responsible for their acts and actions, and the consequences out of it In contrast, the alteration in a family's lifestyle has some negative aspects too. Due to an independent day to day routine, people's life has become very occupied. Siblings do not take this as their responsibility to get to know about the ins and outs of each other. The people have become more self-centred and are unaware of the other's activities. This has increased the ratio of depression among them, because, they are unable to discuss their difficulties with one another. In conclusion, I believe that despite of the fact that, assertive development is very beneficial, but, there should be a balance between the both. The family members should take their personal life and their duties hand in hand, to maintain a peaceful and healthy lifestyle.
Nowadays, the way
people
are living as a family has been
changed
. The family structure,
as well
as the responsibility is
different
, as compared to that of our ancestors. This incorporates both
positive
and
negative
developments, which
is discussed
below.

To
begin
with, the
positive
alteration that has taken place, is the eradication of a narrow thinking mindset. Previously,
people
were
used
to be
very
overprotective of their children.
Also
, they want them to
live
the way, they
think
is
good
for them. It is not always necessary that, the mindset of a parent and offspring is same.
Therefore
, it is better for the guardians to perceive with a broad vision, and to
allow
their young ones to choose the path they want, within the capacity of their defined boundaries. This
also
helps
in increasing their confidence as they become more responsible for their acts and actions, and the
consequences out
of
it


In contrast
, the alteration in a family's lifestyle has
some
negative
aspects too. Due to an independent
day to day
routine,
people
's life has become
very
occupied. Siblings do not take this as their responsibility to
get
to know about the ins and outs of each other. The
people
have become more
self-centred
and are unaware of the other's activities. This has increased the ratio of depression among them,
because
, they are unable to discuss their difficulties with one another.

In conclusion
, I believe that
despite of
the fact that, assertive development is
very
beneficial,
but
, there should be a balance between the both. The family members should take their personal life and their duties hand in hand, to maintain a peaceful and healthy lifestyle.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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