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Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
According to a recent study, the advent of sophisticated modern technologies has made online business meetings and training common these days. I believe that in person meetings and training would bring about more problems for the environment compared to any advantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic benefits of conducting meetings and training in a traditional way. Firstly, face-to-face communication is effective due to the fact that more than 60 per cent of communication involves body language and verbal cues. Facial expressions and eye movements convey messages effectively and it is possible only through physical interaction. For example, according to a study, students with less attention span benefited the most out of classroom training rather than online training. Secondly, some business meetings need the stakeholders to meet in person to arrive at crucial decisions. Such meetings generate more trust among the members, which is essential for the success of any business. For example, annual stockholder meetings of companies are always held in physical locations. Nevertheless, despite the minor advantages of face-to-face meetings, online meetings and training play a vital role in conserving nature and save money. Currently, the biggest threat that we face as humans is global warming and the whole world is taking steps to arrest its effects. Conducting meetings and training online would greatly reduce the emission of greenhouse gases like carbon-di-oxide. For instance, travelling by air significantly increases the emission of greenhouse gases. Having business meetings online would eliminate the need for air travel and reduces the carbon footprint of an individual. This would improve the quality of air and would make the earth a better place to live. Moreover, online classes reduce the cost of training. The reduction in expenses makes the classes affordable to all the students, which in turn save the money needed for travelling, accommodation and course fees. With the help of the internet, even with less financial resources, a country could provide better education to all its citizens. To conclude, face-to-face meetings are a serious waste of money, energy and above all not good for the environment. Therefore, the benefits of online training and meetings outweigh the benefits of traditional training and meetings.
According to a recent study, the advent of sophisticated modern technologies has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
common these days. I believe that in person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
would bring about more problems for the environment compared to any advantages it might bring.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic benefits of conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Consider replacing "in a traditional way" with the adverb for "traditional"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a traditional way
.
Firstly
, face-to-face communication is effective due to the fact that more than 60 per cent of communication involves body language and verbal cues. Facial expressions and eye movements convey messages
effectively
and it is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through physical interaction.
For example
, according to a study, students with less attention span benefited the most out of classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
need the stakeholders to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in person to arrive at crucial decisions. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
generate more trust among the members, which is essential for the success of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
For example
, annual stockholder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are always held in physical locations.

Nevertheless
, despite the minor advantages of face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
play a vital role in conserving nature and save money.
Currently
, the biggest threat that we face as humans is global warming and the whole world is taking steps to arrest its effects. Conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
would
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission of greenhouse gases like
Possible spelling mistake found.
carbon-di-oxide
.
For instance
, travelling by air
significantly
increases the emission of greenhouse gases. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
would eliminate the need for air travel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the carbon footprint of an individual. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of air and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the earth a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. The reduction in expenses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the classes affordable to all the students, which in turn save the money needed for travelling, accommodation and course fees. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet, even with less financial resources, a country could provide better education to all its citizens.

To conclude
, face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are a serious waste of money, energy and
above all
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the environment.
Therefore
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
outweigh the benefits of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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