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Nowadays modern gadgets are widely used by young people and the use of these products reduces their creativity. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Nowadays modern gadgets are widely used by young people and the use of these products reduces their creativity. v. 3
In this digital world, technology has been witnessed in every nook and corner of the globe such as Computers and Smartphone. In my opinion, I reckon that these advents have boosted up the degree of imagination among juveniles. This essay will discuss about the positive impact of this technological boon in youngster’s life. Firstly, with the introduction of contemporary devices it has made the adolescents abreast of the different types of technologies prevalent in this market. It aides them to learn about plethora of computer programming languages which can be used to build applications and websites. Also, they write blogs pertaining to their area of interest which act as a source of entertainment to the people. Consequently, it brings name and fame in their life. To illustrate, these days the trend of making YouTube videos on diverse subjects is witnessed commonly among teenagers which in return help them to earn handsome money depending upon their number of followers. In addition, these latest gadgets help them to unleash their creativity by using plenty of worldwide artistic apps which develop the youngster’s creative thinking and innovative minds. Due to the technology, world has been interconnected and turned out to be a global village where people from different parts of world can be contacted to learn about different skills without any having geographical restrictions. Also, this could be a perfect platform for the teenagers to showcase your talent to the global audience. For example, a well-known application Adobe Photoshop helps to make a photograph more impressive with the help of advanced features available in the program which could not be plausible with standard photograph software. To conclude, I firmly belief that technological advancements is counted as blessing for the young people as it helps them to learn about various latest technology and improve their creative skills in this competitive era to outshine others.
In this digital world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
been witnessed
in every nook and corner of the globe such as Computers and Smartphone. In my opinion, I reckon that these advents have boosted up the degree of imagination among juveniles. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of this technological boon in youngster’s life.

Firstly
, with the introduction of contemporary devices it has made the adolescents abreast of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
prevalent in this market.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'It'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
It aides
them to learn about plethora of computer programming languages which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to build applications and websites.
Also
, they write blogs pertaining to their area of interest which act as a source of entertainment to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Consequently
, it brings name and fame in their life. To illustrate, these days the trend of making YouTube videos on diverse subjects
is witnessed
commonly
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
which in return
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to earn handsome money depending upon their number of followers.

In addition
, these latest gadgets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to unleash their creativity by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of worldwide artistic apps which develop the youngster’s creative thinking and innovative minds. Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, world has
been interconnected
and turned out to be a global village where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of world can
be contacted
to learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
without any having geographical restrictions.
Also
, this could be a perfect platform for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to showcase your talent to the global audience.
For example
, a well-known application Adobe Photoshop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a photograph more impressive with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of advanced features available in the program which could not be plausible with standard photograph software.

To conclude
, I
firmly
belief that technological advancements
is counted
as blessing for the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to learn about various latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in this competitive era to outshine others.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Nowadays modern gadgets are widely used by young people and the use of these products reduces their creativity. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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