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In the past, people wore their traditional clothes and followed their culture. These days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar to one another. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v.3

In the past, people wore their traditional clothes and followed their culture. These days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar to one another. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 3
These days, people have changed they dress up. As earlier people used to wear their regional dresses which depicted their culture. Some people believe that with westernization people have forgotten their roots as well as their traditional values which connect people with each other. Firstly, the drastic change since passed in wearing traditional clothes has lost its essence a decade a ago. However, person can never be judged by his or her clothes. Though clothes plays a vital role to explain the reason behind your personality and culture or community you belong to but this cannot be considered to be the sole reason to not adapt the changes around you. On the other hand if we consider clothing to be the part of our existence, one should never forget his or her roots. The identification people think they carry of their fathers or for fathers comes from the way an person dresses. Clothing also describes unity among the community and this approach is important. Therefore, the increase in change in trend of the way people dress has negatively affected small communities which have now lost their existence. For a instance " kimonos" japan' s traditional dress which now have lost its traditional value these. However, i have a partial view-point to the statement as with the change in time everything needs to be changed to be survivor of the fittest but every individual should carry the sense of responsibility to put forward the tradition to our next generations to come.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
up.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wear their regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
which depicted their culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that with
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some nouns that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Westernization".
westernization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten their roots
as well
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values which connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with each other.

Firstly
, the drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
since passed in wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
clothes has lost its essence a decade
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a ago
.
However
, person can never
be judged
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
clothes. Though clothes plays a vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason behind your personality and culture or community you belong to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this cannot
be considered
to be the sole reason to not adapt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
around you.

On the other hand
if we consider clothing to be the part of our existence, one should never forget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
roots. The identification
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they carry of their fathers or for fathers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the way
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
. Clothing
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
unity among the community and this approach is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Therefore
, the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in trend of the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
has
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
communities which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
lost their existence. For
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
instance
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
kimonos&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
japan&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have lost its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
value these.

However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have a partial view-point to the statement as with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in time everything needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to be survivor of the fittest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every individual should carry the sense of responsibility to put forward the tradition to our
next
generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In the past, people wore their traditional clothes and followed their culture. These days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar to one another. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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