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Nowadays modern gadgets are widely used by young people and the use of these products reduces their creativity. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Nowadays modern gadgets are widely used by young people and the use of these products reduces their creativity. v. 1
It is generally observed that smart devices such as smart phones, tablets, gaming consoles and laptops are easily available to children today. It is argued that that use of these devices by children is diminishing their creativity. This essay agrees that excessive use of such gadgets by children affects their creativity severely. This essay will discuss how it is affecting the critical thinking in children and making them more dependent on technology. Excessive use of gadgets by young people restricts their thinking ability. Since these devices are designed in a way which show its users to just follow a set of instructions for achieving a result without any thinking critically on their part. This makes the users of these devices to use less of their brain capabilities and restricts them from exploring their mind. According to a research published in a popular journal. Excessive use of smart devices slows down the problem solving process in a human brain by 10% in adults while in children this percentage is almost double. Since children are the ones who pick up things at a fast pace and excessive use of technology daily can become a habit. Therefore, making them more dependent on technology. This dependence on technology in such a young age can have lasting impact to their behavior development. According to psychologists excessive technology users are likely to start thinking like robots which can not only affect their personal life but their social life as well. In conclusion, gadgets used by young people reduces their creativity and I strongly agree with the argument and in order to avoid the loss of creativity in our children, parents should ensure that their children uses the technology as moderately as possible.
It is
generally
observed that smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as smart phones, tablets, gaming consoles and laptops are
easily
available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. It
is argued
that that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is diminishing their creativity. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such gadgets by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
affects their creativity
severely
. This essay will discuss how it is affecting the critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and making them more dependent on technology.

Excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of gadgets by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
restricts
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
ability. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are designed
in a way which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
its users to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
follow a set of instructions for achieving a result without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
critically
on their part. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the users of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less of their brain capabilities and restricts them from exploring their mind. According to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
published in a popular journal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
slows down the problem solving process in a human brain by 10% in adults while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
this percentage is almost double.

Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the ones who pick up things at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
daily can become a habit.
Therefore
, making them more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in such a young age can have lasting impact to their behavior development. According to psychologists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
users are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
like robots which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affect their personal life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their social life
as well
.

In conclusion
, gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
reduces
their creativity and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument and in order to avoid the loss of creativity in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, parents should ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as
moderately
as possible.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays modern gadgets are widely used by young people and the use of these products reduces their creativity. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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