Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Below is the chart showing incidence of serious crime in a large UK city from December to November. Total incidences of violent crime are shown in addition to incidences of 4 serious crime types. v.1

Below is the chart showing incidence of serious crime in a large UK city from December to November. Total incidences of violent crime are shown in addition to incidences of 4 serious crime types. v. 1
We are constantly surrounded by advertising, from television commercials, social media advertisement or billboards or posters on the roads. People have different views about how advertising affects our lives. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative impacts of advertising. There is no denying that advertisement can stimulate the economy. Firstly, it plays a vital role of providing information to the customers, helping people understand the choices they have. Additionally, the more commercials we are exposed to, the more we are likely to purchase items. Secondly, advertising is a creative industry that employs many people, therefore providing job opportunities and income for many people. As a result, without advertising, there would be a higher unemployment rate. However, there are some negative issues of advertising that cannot be neglected. One problem is that advertisers often aim the young as their target audience. Children, for instance, can easily be influenced by advertisements. Therefore, they might be under great pressure for not satisfied with who they are. Another problem is that many advertisements manipulate people too badly. Capturing the minds of consumers is the main intention of the advertisements. Thus, by persuading people that buying a product will make them happier and with higher social status. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against advertising. Yet I believe there are both positive and negative aspects of advertising. And I recommended that Advertising should be regulated and advertisements which aimed at children should be controlled or even banned.
We are
constantly
surrounded by advertising, from television commercials, social media
advertisement
or billboards or posters on the roads.
People
have
different
views about how advertising affects our
lives
. In my opinion, there are both
positive
and
negative
impacts of advertising.

There is no denying that
advertisement
can stimulate the economy.
Firstly
, it plays a vital role of providing information to the customers, helping
people
understand the choices they have.
Additionally
, the more commercials we
are exposed
to, the more we are likely to
purchase
items.
Secondly
, advertising is a creative industry that employs
many
people
,
therefore
providing job opportunities and income for
many
people
.
As a result
, without advertising, there would be a higher unemployment rate.

However
, there are
some
negative
issues of advertising that cannot
be neglected
. One problem is that advertisers
often
aim the young as their target audience. Children,
for instance
, can
easily
be influenced
by
advertisements
.
Therefore
, they might be under great pressure for not satisfied with who they are. Another problem is that
many
advertisements
manipulate
people
too
badly
. Capturing the minds of consumers is the main intention of the
advertisements
.
Thus
, by persuading
people
that buying a product will
make
them happier and with higher social status.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments both for and against advertising.
Yet
I believe there are both
positive
and
negative
aspects of advertising. And I recommended that Advertising should
be regulated
and
advertisements
which aimed at children should
be controlled
or even banned.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Below is the chart showing incidence of serious crime in a large UK city from December to November. Total incidences of violent crime are shown in addition to incidences of 4 serious crime types. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts