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Nowadays many people work part or full time from home Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Nowadays many people work part or full time from home Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree 1
News has become an important aspect of daily life and television and newspapers have influenced the public. However, whatever news telecast on television and print in newspapers it is decided by news editors and there are many factors that influence on their decision. I will examine some factors and impact of negative news as well as reported be good news in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are two factors that effects of the editor's decision. The first and the predominant factor is that publicity and profits. Most of the news channels are under the private organisation and they want to earn more money and they think that bad news grabs more attention. Secondly, the preference of public. In this contemporary era, individuals want to know more things about the world so that all editors to find continually new information about the world. Next, I believe that if television and newspapers, broadcast as well as write to bad news then definitely the negative impact on teenagers behaviour with this they can involve in bad activities such as cyber crime and gambling. For instance, a recent research has revealed that, in America, on 2015, 30% crime were committed who continuously watching bad news. Moreover, news editors should more good news were reported because bad news makes us worry and sad whereas good news give us happiness. In addition, most news is related to renowned person and the majority of the people follow their news so if good news would be broadcast then the positive impact on youngsters. In conclusion, although there are so many factors which influence on editors' choice, however, it is essential for editors to telecast and print good news as it impacts on the young generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of daily life and television and newspapers have influenced the public.
However
, whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
telecast on television and print in newspapers it
is decided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
editors and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that influence on their decision. I will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as well
as reported be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that effects of the editor's decision. The
first
and the predominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is that publicity and profits. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels are under the private
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
organisation and
they want to earn more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
grabs more attention.
Secondly
, the preference of public. In this contemporary era, individuals want to know more things about the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that all editors to find
continually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
information about the world.

Next
, I believe that if television and newspapers, broadcast
as well
as write to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
then definitely the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "teenagers'" or "teenager's"?
teenagers
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
with this they can involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
activities such as cyber crime and gambling.
For instance
, a recent research has revealed that, in America, on 2015, 30% crime
were committed
who
continuously
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
news.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
editors should more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
were reported
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us worry and sad whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
give us happiness.
In addition
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is related
to renowned person and the majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
would be broadcast then the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on youngsters.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which influence on editors' choice,
however
, it is essential for editors to telecast and print
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on the young generation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays many people work part or full time from home Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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