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Nowadays many people work part or full time from home. Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Nowadays many people work part or full time from home. Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree. v. 4
Currently, it is true that in today’s society, employers have a tendency to hire employees who are academically qualified than those who have more life experiences or good personality. While this has several benefits, I strongly believe it is a negative advancement. On the one hand, many recruiters believe that candidates with an academic qualification are equipped with in-depth knowledge and useful skills, which are necessary for company’s development. The second reason is that in terms of the level of education employees have received, they are believed to be able to make a greater contribution and to be more eager to learn new things than those without any formal qualifications. Therefore, by looking through the kind of degree that the employee has, the company can easily determine whether that is the person they want with their company. However, I consider it to be a negative development. Firstly, it is essential to hire experienced workers who own some valuable experiences from their previous works. This is because they can deal with different situations properly, which improves work productivity. Moreover, it cannot be denied that many successful people do not have any academic qualifications. An example can be seen in the case of Steve Jobs, who was the most successful person in the technology industry without holding any formal education in this field. Secondly, personal qualities are also a crucial factor when it comes to job recruitment. Dishonesty in the workplace, for example, could present a serious threat to the development of any companies. Therefore, life experience and personal qualities should also be taken into consideration as they are beneficial. In conclusion, there are some reasons why employers tend to prefer employees with good academic qualifications, but I believe that life experience and personal qualities also play an equally pivotal role.
Currently
, it is true that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society, employers have a tendency to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
academically
qualified than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have more life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality. While this has several benefits, I
strongly
believe it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
advancement.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recruiters believe that candidates with an academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
are equipped
with in-depth knowledge and useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s development. The second reason is that in terms of the level of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have received, they
are believed
to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a greater contribution and to be more eager to learn new things than those without any formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
.
Therefore
, by looking through the kind of degree that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
has, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can
easily
determine whether
that is
the person they want with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

However
, I consider it to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
Firstly
, it is essential to hire experienced workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
from their previous works. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations
properly
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
work productivity.
Moreover
, it cannot
be denied
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have any academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
. An example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the case of Steve Jobs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was the most successful person in the technology industry without holding any formal education in this field.
Secondly
, personal qualities are
also
a crucial factor when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to job recruitment. Dishonesty in the workplace,
for example
, could present a serious threat to the development of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Therefore
, life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and personal qualities should
also
be taken
into consideration as they are beneficial.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why employers tend to prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and personal qualities
also
play an
equally
pivotal role.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people work part or full time from home. Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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