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The table below give information on the proporion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in three different diets. v.1

The table below give information on the proporion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in three different diets. v. 1
Public speaking and oration is the most valued skills that an individual can possess. These skills can be used for almost any aspect. The most influential prophets and leaders were those who could sway their audiences verbally. The Powerful oratory skills of many leaders have won wars, averted mass panic and saved companies from financial disaster. Unfortunately, speaking in public is one of the most feared activities today. In the following paragraphs, I shall delve into the importance of the skill of public speaking and presentation. I believe that it should definitely be a part of the school curriculum. To begin with, public speaking is interrelated with communication skills and can be described as a form of conversation. Furthermore, public speaking does not always mean that you have to give a speech to a large audience. When you go for an interview, and speak to a group of interviewers or when you are giving a class presentation; all these are also a form of public speaking. In such situations, if you have the ability to communicate properly, it can help you shape up your future. Secondly, it boosts to overcome fear. Surveys have revealed that most people are afraid of public speaking more than their fear of death. The major reason is that a person has to gather a thorough knowledge of the subject matter on which one has to speak. Once an individual goes into the depth of any topic, he realizes that his anxieties and fears associated with it go down quite remarkably. Moreover, this skill helps in personality development. When a person successfully delivers a congenial speech, it gives a sense of self-worthiness. A positive response from the audience can help a person feel more confident. Thus, it can bring about a lot of improvement in one’s overall personality. Last but not least, the art of public speaking improves relationships. Once a person develops good public speaking skills, a marked improvement can be seen in his interpersonal skills, which in turn, will help him maintain a healthy relationship with his friends and family. Even in one’s professional life, an effective interaction with one’s boss, clients or subordinates can help a person enhance the possibility of advancement in his chosen profession. Our present teaching system: writing and reading seems to be the main focus of literacy, and oratory skills are not stressed. The system needs to change, so that it can focus more of its resources on teaching how to interact with the world. Almost all jobs require an interview, and if one doesn’t know the workings of a job interview, he will probably do poorly. But if the schools teach the skills of public speaking, appearing for an interview would be a piece of cake. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that the art of public speaking is very important in today’s scenario. If today’s children overcome stage fear or speaking in public, they would stand a much better chance in the highly competitive global village of today.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
speaking and oration is the most valued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that an individual can possess. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for almost any aspect. The most influential prophets and leaders were those who could sway their audiences
verbally
. The Powerful oratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
leaders have won wars, averted mass panic and saved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from financial disaster. Unfortunately, speaking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is one of the most feared activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. In the following paragraphs, I shall delve into the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking and presentation. I believe that it should definitely be a part of the school curriculum.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking
is interrelated
with communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
as a form of conversation.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking does not always mean that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give a speech to a large audience. When you go for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
, and speak to a group of interviewers or when you are giving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
presentation; all these are
also
a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking. In such situations, if you have the ability to communicate
properly
, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you shape up your future.
Secondly
, it boosts to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
. Surveys have revealed that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are afraid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking more than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
of death. The major reason is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
gather a thorough knowledge of the
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
on which one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
speak. Once an individual goes into the depth of any topic, he realizes that his anxieties and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fears
associated with it go down quite
remarkably
.

Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in personality development. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
successfully
delivers a congenial speech, it gives a sense of self-worthiness. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from the audience can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
feel more confident.
Thus
, it can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
improvement in one’s
overall
personality. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
relationships. Once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
develops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, a marked improvement can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in his interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which in turn, will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him maintain a healthy relationship with his friends and family. Even in one’s professional life, an effective interaction with one’s boss, clients or subordinates can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
enhance the possibility of advancement in his chosen profession.

Our present teaching system: writing and reading seems to be the main focus of literacy, and oratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. The system needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can focus more of its resources on teaching how to interact with the world. Almost all jobs require an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
, and if one doesn’t know the workings of a job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
, he will
probably
do
poorly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if the schools teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking, appearing for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
would be a piece of cake.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that the art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today’s
scenario. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today’s
children overcome stage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
or speaking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, they would stand a much better chance in the
highly
competitive global village of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The table below give information on the proporion of carbohydrates, protein, and fat in three different diets. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
505 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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