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Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. what athe reasons for this? Do you think it is positive or negative development? v.2

Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. what athe reasons for this? Do you think it is positive or negative development? v. 2
In the modern era, purchasing garments, automobiles and other items from well-known brands have become increasingly popular among people all over the world. There are several reasons which should be mentioned such as improving the financial ability and popularity of social networks to introduce a new collection of brands. In my opinion, this is a negative development which can lead to increase the gap between poor and wealthy people and promote consumerism in the societies. As more and more people tend to buy luxurious commodities, a wide variety of causes can be anticipated. The chief cause might be the development of social media. Because they can influence the choice of individuals by introducing famous brands and increasing incentive among people to purchase them. For example, Chanel which is considered as one of the most important brands introduces a new winter collection through famous tool models such as celebrities and sports players who advertise this brand on Instagram and Facebook to increase the sale of it. A subsequent Factor could be improving the economic situation of people which allows them to effort to buy expensive cars, clothes and other things to show the social status to others. For instance, buying luxury car brands like Porsche which people have to pay a huge amount of money. Therefore, not only do these products demonstrate the social prestige of individuals, but also they boost people’s self-confidence. Although people have become more and more interested in purchasing possession from luxury brands, I believe that this trend would be a negative development. Firstly, many people do not afford to buy some essential goods for themselves. In this condition, we will witness growing the rate of some diseases such as isolation and depression in the society. The best example would be child labour who like to wear clothes such as rich children, but they have to work hard to buy food or provide the shelter for their families. Moreover, buying outstanding products wide-known stores goes up consumerism in the society, because, people want to buy new products without considering they are whether sufficient or not. Unless individuals afford to purchase them, some mental health problems like stress expand among them. So consumerism forces people to work harder and spend less time with loved ones. To sum up, some factors including social media and economic situation would be considered as the main reasons to willing people to buy famous brand. I strongly believe that the disadvantages of this trend outweigh its advantages due to lack of ability of poor people and growing the rate of consumerism.
In the modern era, purchasing garments, automobiles and other items from well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
have become
increasingly
popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world. There are several reasons which should
be mentioned
such as improving the financial ability and popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks to introduce a new collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development which can lead to increase the gap between poor and wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and promote consumerism in the societies.

As more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
luxurious commodities, a wide variety of causes can
be anticipated
. The chief cause might be the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they can influence the choice of individuals by introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
and increasing incentive among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them.
For example
, Chanel which
is considered
as one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
introduces a new winter collection through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
tool models such as celebrities and sports players who advertise this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
on Instagram and Facebook to increase the sale of it. A subsequent Factor could be improving the economic situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
expensive cars, clothes and other things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status to others.
For instance
, buying luxury car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
like Porsche which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay a huge amount of money.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do these products demonstrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
prestige of individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
self-confidence.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more and more interested in purchasing possession from luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, I believe that this trend would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for themselves. In this condition, we will witness growing the rate of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases such as isolation and depression in the society. The best example would be child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
who like to wear clothes such as rich children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
food or provide the shelter for their families.
Moreover
, buying outstanding products wide-known stores goes up consumerism in the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
new products without considering they are whether sufficient or not. Unless individuals afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental health problems like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
expand among them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
consumerism forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work harder and spend less time with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and economic situation would
be considered
as the main reasons to willing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
. I
strongly
believe that the disadvantages of this trend outweigh its advantages due to lack of ability of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and growing the rate of consumerism.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. what athe reasons for this? Do you think it is positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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