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Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v.1

Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 1
It is undeniable that most of the people desire to buy branded products due to several reasons despite the sheer cost. There are three main causes underlying this scenario which could result in devastation progress. To commence with, the foremost factor for the increase in branded products sale might be its long-lasting life. This means the local items could be unparallel when compared to the well-known product’s life span. On top of that, top brands never fail to attract the attention of customers with its design and comfort and thus it remains very appealing to almost all starting from those who wish to buy to those who are even unintentional to purchase any. For instance, a survey conducted by Ferrari revealed that 95% of people took part in the context wished to buy a wagon at their very first look though they are not interested before. Another point worth considering is the free services guaranteed for branded goods which include return and replacement if damaged, unlike other items. Even though it benefits some people, I believe it might have two major consequences in the long run. Firstly, due to the reducing sale of local products, local shop keepers might get affected certainly in one or another way. As most of the branded products are imported, there will be only little room left for the products produced in the home country which might deteriorate the nation’s economy. In conclusion, purchasing iconic products, in my opinion, could be profitable from the people’s point of view but by no means, it could benefit the state.
It is undeniable that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to several reasons despite the sheer cost. There are three main causes underlying this scenario which could result in devastation progress.

To commence with, the foremost factor for the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "products'" or "product's"?
products
sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be its long-lasting life. This means the local items could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
unparallel
when compared to the well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product’s
life span.
On top of that
, top brands never fail to attract the attention of customers with its design and comfort and
thus
it remains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
appealing to almost all starting from those who wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
to those who are even unintentional to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
any.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Ferrari revealed that 95% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in the context wished to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a wagon at their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
look
Did you mean "through"?
though
they are not interested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Another point worth considering is the free services guaranteed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which include return and replacement if damaged, unlike other items.

Even though
it benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I believe it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have two major consequences in the long run.
Firstly
, due to the reducing sale of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, local shop keepers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
certainly
in one or another way.

As most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are imported
, there will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
room
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
produced in the home country which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
deteriorate the nation’s economy.

In conclusion
, purchasing iconic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, in my opinion, could be profitable from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by no means, it could benefit the state.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Nowadays many people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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