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More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.1

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
For a variety of reasons, there has been an increase in the number of people who are obsessed with famous brands when buying new clothes, cars, watches and other items. In my opinion, this is largely detrimental to a lot of people. The first reason for such an obsession with purchasing brand name products is the influence of modern advertising. On a daily basis, we are bombarded by countless TV commercials and magazine advertisements that encourage us to associate certain brands with a higher social status. As a result, an increasing number of people are convinced that owning and using those advertised products is a symbol of success. Another cause is the rising living standard in most countries. With many people earning a better salary, the pursuit of higher quality of life has been popular. This stimulates consumers with higher affordability to choose products of prestigious brands, which are widely believed to be more durable, well designed and dedicatedly produced. Although being a loyal customer to famous brands allows people to enjoy both material and spiritual satisfactions, I strongly believe that this kind of shopping preference has significant negative impacts. Firstly, as the concept that big brands represent wealth and success prevails, people living on a tight budget are also likely to be lured to follow this trend, which will cause them to spend the money borrowed from the bank and finally end up with serious debt troubles. In addition, being addicted to famous brands leads people to buy things that may not suit them best. For example, to follow the latest trend set by influential brands, many people would buy shoes and clothes that neither fit their personalities nor their lifestyles. In conclusion, due to the influence of advertising and the rise in people’s incomes, the popularity of buying famous brand goods has been increasing, which, from my point of view, generates undesirable outcomes.
For a variety of reasons, there has been an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are obsessed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
when buying new clothes, cars,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
and other items. In my opinion, this is
largely
detrimental to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
first
reason for such an obsession with purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
name products is the influence of modern advertising. On a daily basis, we
are bombarded
by countless TV commercials and magazine advertisements that encourage us to associate certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
with a higher social status.
As a result
, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convinced
that owning and using those advertised products is a symbol of success.

Another cause is the rising living standard in most countries. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earning a better salary, the pursuit of higher quality of life has been popular. This stimulates consumers with higher affordability to choose products of prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, which are
widely
believed to be more durable,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well designed
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedicatedly
produced.

Although being a loyal customer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy both material and spiritual satisfactions, I
strongly
believe that this kind of shopping preference has significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
Firstly
, as the concept that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
represent wealth and success prevails,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living on a tight budget are
also
likely to
be lured
to follow this trend, which will cause them to spend the money borrowed from the bank and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with serious debt troubles.
In addition
,
being addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that may not suit them best.
For example
, to follow the latest trend set by influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
shoes and clothes that neither fit their personalities nor their lifestyles.

In conclusion
, due to the influence of advertising and the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
incomes, the popularity of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
has been increasing, which, from my point of view, generates undesirable outcomes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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