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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v.1

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v. 1
Imagine that you are finishing your university degree in a month and attempt to seek a job in Hanoi, one of the packed cities worldwide with the exorbitant costs of living. Assuming that your monthly payment would be around 10 million VND, would you afford to buy a flat or a house in that overcrowded city after a decade of dedication as a workaholic? On a second thought, your dream could become true if you risk yourself walking on your own feet by working for yourself, instead. First and foremost, it is admittedly believed that being self-employed provides you with an income boost. Obviously, the harder you work, the more money you earn. Unlike working for yourself, your monthly paycheck is by and large fixed and inflexible when working for a company. As a result, it is surely tough for any miracle to appear in terms of your salary, except the fact that you had made some significant contribution to the well-being of the corporation itself. On the other hand, some are opposed to self-employment arguing that your income stability might not be secured. Take the current COVID-19 pandemic as a good example, being employed during this time of austerity is seen as a saviour with regard to your wage security when plenty of private businesses are on the verge of bankruptcy due to the ongoing long-lasting social distancing guideline by the Vietnamese government. A further no-less-important point in favour of being freelance is that you can benefit from the aspect of personal freedom. In other words, it’s not compulsory for you to obey the organizational dress code or punctuality as you work from home, etc. , provided your job productiveness is still ensured. In addition, you can run errands in the meantime without feeling uncomfortable about being scrutinized. By contrast, you are more likely to sacrifice your social communication. That is to say, gathering and gossiping are barely in existence. As a result, you might possibly suffer from depression and autism because of being deprived of one of the human being’s essential demands. In conclusion, although self-employment is favourable with relevance to someone’s freedom and living standard, it cannot be ignored the detrimental implications that it might have on the person’s income security and social interactions. A witty choice, therefore, needs to be considered.
Imagine that you are finishing your university degree in a month and attempt to seek a job in Hanoi, one of the packed cities worldwide with the exorbitant costs of living. Assuming that your monthly payment would be around 10 million VND, would you afford to
buy
a flat or a
house
in that overcrowded city after a decade of dedication as a workaholic? On a second
thought
, your dream could become true if you
risk
yourself walking on your
own
feet by working for yourself,
instead
.

First
and foremost, it is
admittedly
believed that being self-employed provides you with an income boost.
Obviously
, the harder you work, the more money you earn. Unlike working for yourself, your monthly paycheck is by and large
fixed
and inflexible when working for a
company
.
As a result
, it is
surely
tough for any miracle to appear in terms of your salary, except the fact that you had made
some
significant contribution to the well-being of the corporation itself.
On the other hand
,
some
are opposed
to self-employment arguing that your income stability might not
be secured
. Take the
current
COVID-19 pandemic as a
good
example,
being employed
during this time of austerity is
seen
as a
saviour
with regard to your wage security when
plenty
of private businesses are on the verge of bankruptcy due to the ongoing long-lasting social distancing guideline by the Vietnamese
government
.

A
further
no-less-
important
point in
favour
of being freelance is that you can benefit from the aspect of personal freedom.
In other words
, it’s not compulsory for you to obey the organizational dress code or punctuality as you work from home, etc.
,
provided your job productiveness is
still
ensured.
In addition
, you can run errands in the meantime without feeling uncomfortable about
being scrutinized
. By contrast, you are more likely to sacrifice your social communication.
That is
to say, gathering and gossiping are
barely
in existence.
As a result
, you might
possibly
suffer from depression and autism
because
of
being deprived
of one of the human being’s essential demands.

In conclusion
, although self-employment is
favourable
with relevance to someone’s freedom and living standard, it cannot be
ignored
the detrimental implications that it might have on the person’s income security and social interactions. A witty choice,
therefore
, needs to
be considered
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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