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Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v.1

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v. 1
An increasing number of individuals have recently chosen to start their own business over being employed under an organization. This increasing trend could be due to two main reasons, namely, the advancement of technology and greater ability to work more independently. Furthermore, this essay will stress the possible drawbacks of these start-up businesses, which are high risk associated with the business and lack of other benefits provided by an employer. The main reason for this shift could be due to technological improvements that provide a plethora of new business concepts together with convenience to create a suitable home office environment. A recent study conducted in the UK has shown that more than 40% of the employees have left their current positions in corporates in order to start their own entities. Another key contributor to this change is, the ability to be more independent and work under your own initiatives rather than someone else’s instructions. For instance, Steve Jobs, the mastermind behind the multimillion Apple products has stated that moving from his last employer and taking the initiative to start his own business gave him a greater ability to think more independently and be more creative with his ideas. The above factors could be considered as contributors to this recent work shifting trend. When considering the plausible drawbacks of self-employment, one of the key factors is the high level of risk. As these individual entities are not yet established and face intense competition from the market there is a risk of failure associated with the business. A good illustration is, in Silicon Valley itself, more than 35% of new enterprises do not survive at least a year due to the competition in the market. In addition to this, there will be a reduction in the benefits provided to the employees compared to entrepreneurs. Added benefits such as insurance, welfare allowances, and company-sponsored training, both local and foreign will be reduced as may start-up businesses lack large amounts of funds like many companies. These can be identified as the negatives of self-employment. To conclude, self -employment is selected by many individuals recently over working under an employer. This change is due to technological developments and greater independence in work. This essay further discusses the cons of this practice, which are exposure to high risk and reduction in employee benifits which should be considered before choosing to start your own business.
An increasing number of individuals have recently chosen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
over
being employed
under an organization. This increasing trend could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to two main reasons,
namely
, the advancement of technology and greater ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
independently
.
Furthermore
, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
the possible drawbacks of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, which are high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and lack of other benefits provided by an employer.

The main reason for this shift could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to technological improvements that provide a plethora of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
concepts together with convenience to create a suitable home office environment. A recent study conducted in the UK has shown that more than 40% of the employees have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
positions in
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
entities. Another key contributor to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is, the ability to be more independent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
initiatives
rather
than someone else’s instructions.
For instance
, Steve Jobs, the mastermind behind the multimillion Apple products has stated that moving from his last employer and taking the initiative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
gave him a greater ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more
independently
and be more creative with his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. The above factors could
be considered
as contributors to this recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
shifting trend.

When considering the plausible drawbacks of self-employment, one of the key factors is the high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
. As these individual entities are not
yet
established and face intense competition from the market there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of failure associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration is, in Silicon Valley itself, more than 35% of new enterprises do not survive at least a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the competition in the market.
In addition
to this, there will be a reduction in the benefits provided to the employees compared to entrepreneurs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
benefits such as insurance, welfare allowances, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
-sponsored training, both local and foreign will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
lack large amounts of funds like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. These can
be identified
as the negatives of self-employment.

To conclude
, self -employment
is selected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals recently over working under an employer. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to technological developments and greater independence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This essay
further
discusses the cons of this practice, which are exposure to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
and reduction in employee
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
which should
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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