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Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v.2

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v. 2
In a world scenario where new ideas come up constantly, many would rather have their own business than work for a company. This essay attempts to consider the merits and demerits to be self-employed. The emergence of startups comes from young entrepreneurs who have good ideas and want to have their own business. This independence has several advantages which are very attractive such as work on your own terms, choosing your place and time of work. Moreover, financial income is higher than the salary of a company, making it possible to achieve financial independence faster. For instance, three young entrepreneurs opened a startup that produces human tissue from a biomaterial in Brazil. The three are able to reconcile master’s degree and work, and also one of them works from England. In addition, they have been received good financial income, and they are less stressed and happier. On the other hand, be self-employed may have some disadvantages. One of the most important is the lack of assurance of a guaranteed paycheck at the end of the month. In a few months, the entrepreneur can have money and other not so much, especially in the beginning. Furthermore, the amount of work is huge and the entrepreneur works day and night. Consequently, it's hard to reconcile the professional and personal life. For example, my friend has her own architecture office, and she always mentions that she worked until dawn to finish all the projects. In conclusion, be self-employed involve many pros and cons. However, if you have investment across industries or businessmen it can be a brilliant idea. Studies show that people who have their own businesses are more satisfied.
In a world scenario where new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up
constantly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would
rather
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This essay attempts to consider the merits and demerits to be self-employed.

The emergence of startups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrepreneurs
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and want to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business. This independence has several advantages which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
terms, choosing your place and time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, financial income is higher than the salary of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, making it possible to achieve financial independence faster.
For instance
, three young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrepreneurs
opened a startup that produces human tissue from a biomaterial in Brazil. The three are able to reconcile master’s degree and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and
also
one of them works from England.
In addition
, they have
been received
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
financial income, and they are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and happier.

On the other hand
, be self-employed may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the lack of assurance of a guaranteed paycheck at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month. In a few months, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrepreneur
can have money and other not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
especially
in the beginning.
Furthermore
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is huge and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrepreneur
works day and night.
Consequently
, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to reconcile the professional and personal life.
For example
, my friend has her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
architecture office, and she always mentions that she worked until dawn to finish all the projects.

In conclusion
, be self-employed involve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons.
However
, if you have investment across industries or businessmen it can be a brilliant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
businesses are more satisfied.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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