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Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be this case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed. v.1

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be this case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed. v. 1
In recent years, a good number of individuals prefer being entrepreneurs to working for companies or organizations. This is as result of people's desire for job freedom. Moreover, they gain from it because there are no delays in the payment of salaries. Many people want to be free from the control of any boss. This is why they crave so much for self-employment. Being an entrepreneur creates room for personal and private running of one's business, without interference from an inter authority. For example, my cousin owns a company, B and Z Limited, which majors in rubber production. Since he started, the control and administration of authority in his company lies in his hands, which gives him more time to attend to other family need. This is why people like being their business owners. Being a business owner means people would not have to wait for a specific date before receiving their salaries. This is one main advantage accrued to self-improvement. Being in this state, they can pay themselves at anytime the need arises. For example, marketers in Oshodi Market, the third largest market in East Africa, make their monies each day, without the tension and uncertainty of monthly salaries. Therefore, the benefit of being a business owner is the availability of capital whenever it is needed. In conclusion, people's preference for self reliance in business recently is due to their need for freedom. Undoubtedly, they gain from being in this position because it allows them access to money whenever they need it.
In recent years, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
number of individuals prefer being entrepreneurs to working for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or organizations. This is as result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's desire for job freedom.
Moreover
, they gain from it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no delays in the payment of salaries.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to be free from the control of any boss. This is why they crave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much for self-employment. Being an entrepreneur creates room for personal and private running of one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, without interference from
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'inter' is correct. If 'inter' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an inter
authority.
For example
, my cousin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, B and Z Limited, which majors in rubber production. Since he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, the control and administration of authority in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
lies in his hands, which gives him more time to attend to other family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. This is why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like being their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners.

Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owner means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for a specific date
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
receiving their salaries. This is one main advantage accrued to self-improvement. Being in this state, they can pay themselves at anytime the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
arises.
For example
, marketers in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oshodi
Market, the third largest market in East Africa,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their monies each day, without the tension and uncertainty of monthly salaries.
Therefore
, the benefit of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owner is the availability of capital whenever it
is needed
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's preference for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliance
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
recently is due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for freedom.
Undoubtedly
, they gain from being in this position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them
Please check whether 'to' is missing here (to allow to do something).
access
to money whenever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be this case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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