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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.26

In recent times, some people prefer working on their own to being employed by an organization or some company. There are two main reasons why people choose being self-employed, although there might be several challenges of this trend. On the one hand, two primary factors can contribute to the more people becoming self-employed. One of them might be that those who run their own business without cooperation with others do not depend on anyone and should not obey the rules compared to people working in companies. In other words, having several deadlines, doing what the principle says and depending on the principles might make people reluctant towards work and would not lead to any success. Thus, more people tend to be intrigued by the idea of working on their own as this would provide them with freedom. Another reason to consider could be that self-employed people do not share their profit with any partners. To be more precise, not all people might favor working hard and receiving only a certain proportion of the revenue. For example, now there are many bloggers on YouTube posting their own videos of videogames and making money themselves, just sitting at home. Therefore, as these lifestyles seem convenient and easy to earn money, the majority of the people tend to choose them. However, these changes might have some drawbacks. Firstly, not all people have enough creativity and bravery to start making money on their own. YouTube bloggers need an interesting content and creativity skills in order to attract watchers’ attention as the less people watch their videos, the less money will they earn. So, a lot of self-employed people tend to fail in achieving success and prefer to have a job in an organization which requires simpler skills. Secondly, many people working on their own often have no cooperation with others which leads to the lack of team-work and communication abilities. That is to say, individuals ought to be able to collaborate with others as without it, they would get into trouble, but self-employed people often ignore these because they are unnecessary for their work. As a result, people who are self-employed may not achieve great results compared to others. In conclusion, even though there could be some factors contributing to the preference of self-employment among people, there can still be some challenges in excelling in life in this way.
In recent times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
to
being employed
by an organization or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. There are two main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose being self-employed, although there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be several challenges of this trend.

On the one hand, two primary factors can contribute to the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
becoming self-employed. One of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be that those who run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business without cooperation with others do not depend on anyone and should not obey the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, having several deadlines, doing what the principle says and depending on the principles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reluctant towards work and would not lead to any success.
Thus
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
be intrigued
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as this would provide them with freedom. Another reason to consider could be that self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not share their profit with any partners. To be more precise, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
favor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and receiving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a certain proportion of the revenue.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bloggers on YouTube posting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
videos of videogames and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting at home.
Therefore
, as these lifestyles seem convenient and easy to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose them.

However
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
Firstly
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
creativity and bravery to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. YouTube bloggers need an interesting content and creativity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in order to attract watchers’ attention as the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their videos, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will they earn.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to fail in achieving success and prefer to have a job in an organization which requires simpler
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have no cooperation with others which leads to the lack of team-work and communication abilities.
That is
to say, individuals ought to be able to collaborate with others as without it, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into trouble,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are unnecessary for their work.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are self-employed may not achieve great results compared to others.

In conclusion
,
even though
there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors contributing to the preference of self-employment among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, there can
still
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges in excelling in life in this way.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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