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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or an organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed v.1

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or an organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed v. 1
While certain professionals pledge loyalty to the organizations they work for, others prefer to march to the tune of their own proverbial drum, opting to work for their own selves. A great number of people these days prefer to be entrepreneurs and various factors come into play. For many, the decision to work independently rests solely on the fact that they can control their hours and achieve a good work-life balance. I have observed that in Pakistan, many professionals are opting for their own businesses due to the flexibility in hours this kind of work provides. My mother, a doctor who specializes in obstetrics, chose to set up her own clinic instead of working for a hospital because she wanted to be able to spend more time with her family. Another factor in this decision is increasing public awareness about wage disparity. According to an article I read recently in Forbes magazine, the average company CEO makes about thirty times as much as a company employee. Many people are choosing to be their own CEOs, and equipped with a good skill set they can make at least twice as much as they were making while employed by an organization. Not all is rosy when it comes to working at your own job, however, as there are certain downsides, the biggest of which is perhaps losing the stability a typical nine to five company job provides. Entrepreneurship can be uncertain, it takes time and effort to build your own line of work, and one does not have the safety nets - a team of lawyers and financial advisers - which bigger companies can boast of. To conclude, while there are cons to rival the pros offered by self-employment, many workers are choosing to be their own boss. Flexible hours and more money are two of the main factors contributing to this trend, while the potential instability of entrepreneurship is a disadvantage.
While certain professionals pledge loyalty to the organizations they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for, others prefer to march to the tune of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
proverbial drum, opting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
selves. A great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days prefer to be entrepreneurs and various factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into play.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, the decision to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
rests
solely
on the fact that they can control their hours and achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life balance. I have observed that in Pakistan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals are opting for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
businesses due to the flexibility in hours this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
provides. My mother, a doctor who specializes in obstetrics, chose to set up her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
clinic
instead
of working for a hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she wanted to be able to spend more time with her family.

Another factor in this decision is increasing public awareness about wage disparity. According to an article I read recently in Forbes magazine, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
CEO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
about thirty times as much as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
employee.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are choosing to be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
CEOs, and equipped with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
at least twice as much as they were making while employed by an organization.

Not all is rosy when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to working at your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
job,
however
, as there are certain downsides, the biggest of which is perhaps losing the stability a typical nine to five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
job provides. Entrepreneurship can be uncertain, it takes time and effort to build your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
line of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and one does not have the safety nets
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a team of lawyers and financial advisers
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can boast of.

To conclude
, while there are cons to rival the pros offered by self-employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers are choosing to be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss. Flexible hours and more money are two of the main factors contributing to this trend, while the potential instability of entrepreneurship is a disadvantage.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or an organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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