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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What are the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.15

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What are the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 15
In recent times, despite the demerits of being self employed, many people would rather work for themselves than working for firms and organizations. This current trend can be attributed to the unhealthy job environment and lack of job satisfaction. To begin with, unhealthy work environment is a major reason why most people prefer working for themselves. This is because the goal of many big organizations is to make profit, and as a result, they put their workers under pressure. Therefore, employees are compelled to put up extra hours and even take their jobs, home; all these at the expense of their health and well being. In addition, Job satisfaction is a major concern for most workers. People believe that, if they toil for themselves, they can optimally utilize their skills, rather than working for companies where their abilities are grossly undermined. For example, during a survey, 90% percent of small market entrepreneurs responded that, they left their jobs and decided to start their own businesses; because, they were not given roles where they could express their abilities. These reasons explain why people would work for themselves instead of getting paid jobs. Nevertheless, being an entrepreneur is not devoid of being disadvantaged; An example, is the financial burden. For any personal business to thrive, there is a need to finance basic amenities. Such as office space, power, tax tariffs etc. Most entrepreneurs end up in financial debts due to insufficient funds; Futhermore, lack of structure could affect small business owners. Unlike Cooperate Organizations where they have structures and personnels delegated with responsibilities. Entrepreneurs are solely in charge of all decisions of the business. Therefore, if there are no goals and structures in place; such businesses are likely to go into Oblivion. In conclusion, although there are benefits of working for oneself, however, the cons, such as financial pressure and lack of a corporate structure should be considered before any individual ventures in it.
In recent times, despite the demerits of being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
rather
work for themselves than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for firms and organizations. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend can
be attributed
to the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
environment and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, unhealthy work environment is a major reason why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for themselves. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the goal of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
organizations is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit, and
as a result
, they put their workers under pressure.
Therefore
, employees
are compelled
to put up extra hours and even take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, home; all these at the expense of their health and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
satisfaction is a major concern for most workers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that, if they toil for themselves, they can
optimally
utilize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
where their abilities are
grossly
undermined.
For example
, during a survey, 90% percent of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrepreneurs
responded that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
roles where they could express their abilities. These reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would work for themselves
instead
of getting paid jobs.

Nevertheless
, being an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrepreneur
is not devoid of
being disadvantaged
; An example, is the financial burden. For any personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to thrive, there is a need to finance basic amenities. Such as office space, power, tax tariffs etc. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrepreneurs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in financial debts due to insufficient funds;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
could affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners. Unlike Cooperate Organizations where they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "personnel", the plural form of the noun 'personnel'?
personnels
delegated with responsibilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Entrepreneurs
are
solely
in charge of all decisions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Therefore
, if there are no goals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
in place; such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are likely to go into Oblivion.

In conclusion
, although there are benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for oneself,
however
, the cons, such as financial pressure and lack of a corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
should
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any individual ventures in it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What are the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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