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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be he case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.10

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be he case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 10
In today's modern life, there are many different lifestyles, attitudes and behaviours among people and one of them has become far more common for people to be self-employed, instead of working for a business. Personally, there are many kinds of reasons behind decision of working individually and ı partly agree that this situation has both positive and negative effects on people and people's life. To begin with, working individual gives plenty of opportunities to people such as freedom of creation or having flexible working hours etc. Make people feel relax while they are working links with these kind of opportunities because ıf an employee works under stress and does not have any positive view about the workplace, the worker's motivation and will to work will decrease every day and that person will be prone to work as an individual. Moreover, another reason of why people choose to work themselves is to be wanting their own boss. Because whole profit of the business will be themselves so the people wanting to work self think generally that they will earn more money than the others working for the organization. For instance, looking at bloggers, their creativity and motivation are significantly higher because they have own decision and responsibility whatever they do. So that is why people currently are willing to prefer working alone. On the other hand, working individual cause negative effects on self-employed people. One of them is there are no guarantee that self-employed person will earn enough to live a comfortable life. Because there is not a stable salary or insurance. Moreover, people working individually mostly suffer from isolation and loneliness due to not having any colleagues or partners while working. To sum up, ıt is a fact that people have different options about work. Some people choose to open their own business, while others prefer to work in an organization. After looking at positive and negative impacts of self-employed, ı prefer working myself because ı like taking risks.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern life, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyles, attitudes and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and one of them has become far more common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be self-employed,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a business.
Personally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of reasons behind decision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
individually
and ı partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this situation has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
individual gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as freedom of creation or having flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel relax while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
links with
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıf
an employee works under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and does not have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view about the workplace, the worker's motivation and will to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will decrease every day and that person will be prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as an individual.
Moreover
, another reason of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
themselves is to
The verb 'wanting' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be wanting
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
whole profit of the business will be themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wanting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
self
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
generally
that they will earn more money than the others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the organization.
For instance
, looking at bloggers, their creativity and motivation are
significantly
higher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision and responsibility whatever they do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
currently
are willing to prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
alone.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
individual cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. One of them is there are no
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "guarantees"?
guarantee
that self-employed person will earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there is not a stable salary or insurance.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
individually
mostly
suffer from isolation and loneliness due to not having any colleagues or partners while working.

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıt
is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to open their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, while others prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in an organization. After looking at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of self-employed, ı prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
ı like taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be he case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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