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Nowadays, many old cities are redesigned and rebuilt in order to look modern. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this practice? v.2

Nowadays, many old cities are redesigned and rebuilt in order to look modern. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this practice? v. 2
It is a known fact that cities are being changed and rebuilt by new techniques. It has to be admit that, there are merits and demerits. I personally believe that advantages outweigh disadvantages. On the one hand, technological advantages makes a peak change. To substantiate, technology improves the city by its changes. New buildings are being made by different type of architectural designs. New buildings are not easily destroyed by natural disasters like cyclone and flood. For example; large number of old buildings were destroyed by tsunami in Japan, but it affected very less number of new buildings. Moreover architectural differences and peculiarities makes the buildings different from one another, each building show it' s own identity. However, culture and tradition changes by its nature. To clarify, we lose our culture that were followed by our grandparents. For example; nowadays we gives more importance to the beauty of the house rather than its appearance. We gives more importance to the designs but olden days they built houses which gives much more importance to nature culture and religion. Furthermore, nothing goes wrong. Each building is a backbone of its city. Building inturns change the city. Modern buildings gives outstanding appearancestors of the city. It indicates how modern the city is. In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that each changes in this era is the part of modernisation. So rebuilding and redesigning is essential when we look in to the city development.
It is a known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and rebuilt by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
techniques. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
Consider using a past participle here: "admitted".
admit
that, there are merits and demerits. I
personally
believe that advantages
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
outweigh


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
disadvantages
.

On the one hand, technological advantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. To substantiate, technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the city by its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
being made
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of architectural designs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are not
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by natural disasters like cyclone and flood.
For example
; large number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by tsunami in Japan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
architectural differences and peculiarities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from one another, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity.

However
, culture and tradition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
by its nature. To clarify, we lose our culture that
were followed
by our grandparents.
For example
; nowadays we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "give"
gives
more importance to the beauty of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rather
than its appearance. We
The pronoun 'We' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "give"
gives
more importance to the designs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
olden days they built
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
much more importance to nature culture and religion.

Furthermore
, nothing goes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is a backbone of its city.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Building
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the city. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
outstanding
Possible spelling mistake found.
appearancestors
of the city. It indicates how modern the city is.

In conclusion
, we cannot deny the fact that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in this era is the part of
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
rebuilding and redesigning is essential when we look in to the city development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, many old cities are redesigned and rebuilt in order to look modern. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this practice? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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