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Today more and more old cities are being rebuilt and redesigned in order to be modernized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v.1

Today more and more old cities are being rebuilt and redesigned in order to be modernized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1
Old cities lack modern amenities. They can no longer accommodate the needs of the modern society. Because of this reason, they are being rebuilt. In my opinion, there are several benefits to rebuilding old cities. Most cities are now bulging at the seams. As more and more people move to cities in search of jobs and a better lifestyle, cities become even more congested. They are struggling to cope with the increased stress on their resources. For example in Mumbai and its suburbs, the need for homes is on the rise. Going vertical is the only situation to this problem. Because of this reason, old and dilapidated buildings are being demolished to make way for skyscrapers. Old cities lack proper sewage or waste disposal systems. When population increases the need for water and power also increases. Many old cities lack supporting infrastructure. Narrow roads are a problem that plagues most old cities. To accommodate the growing number of vehicles, roads have to be widened. This would not be possible without demolishing the buildings on either side. In addition, bigger water pipes have to be laid to accommodate the growing need for water. Cities are built for people. They have to evolve with the times. Otherwise, they would not be able to cope with the demands of the urban population. There is a minor disadvantage to this. When cities change, they often lose their old world charm. Sometimes historically important buildings are demolished to make way for newer structures. This practice has to be discouraged. Civic authorities can play an important role in this. They need to understand the importance of preserving historically important buildings. To conclude, there are several advantages to redesigning old cities. Cities are meant for people. If they can’t meet the needs of the people, they become useless.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
lack modern amenities. They can no longer accommodate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the modern society.
Because of this
reason, they are being rebuilt. In my opinion, there are several benefits to rebuilding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
cities.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
bulging at the seams. As more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in search of jobs and a better lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
become even more congested. They are struggling to cope with the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on their resources.
For example
in Mumbai and its suburbs, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for homes is on the rise. Going vertical is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
situation to this problem.
Because of this
reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and dilapidated buildings are
being demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for skyscrapers.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
lack proper sewage or waste disposal systems. When population increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for water and power
also
increases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
lack supporting infrastructure. Narrow roads are a problem that plagues most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. To accommodate the growing number of vehicles, roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be widened
. This would not be possible without demolishing the buildings on either side.
In addition
, bigger water pipes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be laid
to accommodate the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for water.

Cities
are built
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
evolve with the times.
Otherwise
, they would not be able to cope with the demands of the urban population. There is a minor disadvantage to this. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
world charm.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
historically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
buildings
are demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for newer structures. This practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be discouraged
. Civic authorities can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to understand the importance of preserving
historically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
buildings.

To conclude
, there are several advantages to redesigning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are meant
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they become useless.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Today more and more old cities are being rebuilt and redesigned in order to be modernized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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