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In many countries few people are highly paid and extremely rich some people think that it is better for the country other people say that government should restrict salaries and should not give more than the certain extent Discuss both views and give your v.2

In many countries few people are highly paid and extremely rich some people think that it is better for the country other people say that government should restrict salaries and should not give more than the certain extent 2
The proportion between the rich and the poor in many countries is wider than the sea, but it makes the country looking good. In order to like that, some people argue that governments should take some action to determine the ceiling of their salaries. This essay will discuss both of these and try to give some conclusions. Millionaires in many countries become richer and richer because of their businesses. One person tends not to have only one project. For example, a rich society will know each other well so that they decide to be a partner in a national company and our country get more taxes and profits from foreigners. Hence, I think that those taxes can levitate people’s lives such as healthcare and habitats. Besides businessmen, because salary people have much work to do including a chief executive officer, they must do OT therefore, this is the reason why they attain many wages. As their skills, they can make a whole picture of the countries better. To sum up, it is not the only negative idea that people are paid a huge amount of money because the country gets some benefits from that. However, the previous one was not suitable for middle class people as they might think that the governments should address this issue by limiting maximum salaries. At the first point, this means that it will be fair for every class of people in the country if the governments pay not as much different as salaries. Secondly, governments will have more funds to invest money in healthcare and public transportation for citizens. These are positives but if the governments solve this problem by salary restriction, working people will become less ambitious. To illustrate, why they have to work hard to get the same rate of money and they will not have pace in working anymore. Although it might be better to bring that money to develop the country, the country will be the ancient part of the world unless the governments do not think another way. In conclusion, I think that paying more and more money on intelligent people is not a bad idea and also for determining to ceil of people’s salaries if the governments can balance it both as well as tackle those problems.
The proportion between the rich and the poor in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is wider than the sea,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
looking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In order to like that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action to determine the ceiling of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. This essay will discuss both of these and try to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conclusions.

Millionaires in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
become richer and richer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their businesses. One person tends not to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one project.
For example
, a rich society will know each other well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they decide to be a partner in a national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more taxes and profits from foreigners.
Hence
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that those taxes can levitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
such as healthcare and habitats.
Besides
businessmen,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have much work to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go including".
do including
a chief executive officer, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do OT
therefore
, this is the reason why they attain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wages. As their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a whole picture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
better. To sum up, it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are paid
a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits from that.

However
, the previous one was not suitable for middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should address this issue by limiting maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. At the
first
point, this means that it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
pay not as much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
will have more funds to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in healthcare and public transportation for citizens. These are positives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
solve this problem by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
restriction, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become less ambitious. To illustrate, why they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same rate of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they will not have pace in working anymore. Although it might be better to bring that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be the ancient part of the world unless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
another way.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that paying more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
also
for determining to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ceil
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can balance it both
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
tackle those problems.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries few people are highly paid and extremely rich some people think that it is better for the country other people say that government should restrict salaries and should not give more than the certain extent 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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