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Nowadays, many buildings such as offices and schools have open space design instead of separate rooms. Why is it so? What do you think is it a positive or negative effect? v.1

Nowadays, many buildings such as offices and schools have open space design instead of separate rooms. Why is it so? What do you think is it a positive or negative effect? v. 1
Work-life balance is of utmost importance in sustaining an invariably healthy lifestyle. However, globalization and industry-wide struggles have rendered it more challenging. In this essay, a well-rounded study over the causes, effects, and solutions of this momentous issue will be discussed. There are two major outcomes associated with the over-competitive work environment. Firstly, employees is forced to take on heavy duties to maintain their positions in the companies. Secondly, keeping up with the barrage of workloads can be at the same time daunting and time-consuming. For instance, fresh graduates seeking equal opportunities and salaries are compelled to spend long working hours in their offices. The mentioned factors can have a dramatic impact on all aspects of life. By dedicating a large proportion of daily hours to work, only a scanty time will be left for recreational and personal activities. Obesity and psychological problems are two clear indications of aforesaid points which are mainly caused by the lack of physical exercises and high-stress levels, respectively. Spending less quality time with intimate ones is another destructive outcome of unhealthy work-life balance. To sum up the points, it should be said that there exists no simple solution to the problem of work-life unbalance; however, a methodical approach, developed by the authorities, can be a useful tool to minimize the irreparable consequences of this adverse way of life. A long-term strategy would be establishing socioeconomic equality in society as a life-changing method to diminish the effects of this issue and help the individuals to find more worthwhile passion.
Work-life balance is of utmost importance in sustaining an
invariably
healthy lifestyle.
However
, globalization and industry-wide struggles
have
rendered it more challenging. In this essay, a well-rounded study over the causes, effects, and solutions of this momentous issue will
be discussed
.

There are two major outcomes associated with the over-competitive work environment.
Firstly
, employees
is forced
to take on heavy duties to maintain their positions in the
companies
.
Secondly
, keeping up with the barrage of workloads can be at the same time daunting and time-consuming.
For instance
, fresh graduates seeking equal opportunities and salaries
are compelled
to spend long working hours in their offices.

The mentioned factors can have a dramatic impact on all aspects of life. By dedicating a large proportion of daily hours to work,
only
a scanty time will be
left
for recreational and personal activities. Obesity and psychological problems are two
clear
indications of aforesaid points which are
mainly
caused by the lack of physical exercises and high-
stress
levels,
respectively
. Spending less quality time with intimate ones is another destructive outcome of unhealthy work-life balance.

To sum up the points, it should
be said
that there exists no simple solution to the problem of work-life unbalance;
however
, a methodical approach, developed by the authorities, can be a useful tool to minimize the irreparable consequences of this adverse way of life. A long-term strategy would be establishing socioeconomic equality in society as a life-changing method to diminish the effects of this issue and
help
the individuals to find more worthwhile passion.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Nowadays, many buildings such as offices and schools have open space design instead of separate rooms. Why is it so? What do you think is it a positive or negative effect? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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