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Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people s health Some say the way to ask people to eat less fast food is to educate them while others say education does not work Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.1

Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people s health Some say the way to ask people to eat less fast food is to educate them while others say education does not work 1
In recent days, it is not an uncommon practice that few people are not aware of those who live next to them. This essay examines the causes and possible solutions for such practices. One of the greatest reasons for people not knowing their neighbours is the lack of communication and interaction. This is because, the percentage of working people in a family are more these days as compared to last few decades, which requires a family to leave to work in the morning and return only by night. These kind of routines will deprive them of a chance of socializing with others who surround them. However, if people decide to quit their jobs for a good social life, they may fail to get a good living standard. Affording a car, a good apartment, would become a luxury to them. Nevertheless, these problems can be solved by making people understand the value that neighbours can bring in. For instance, if there is a medical emergency at home, they are the ones who can come to aid at the first. Not only during those situations, they may also help us in having a decent socioeconomic life by assisting us in times of smaller economic crisis and also sharing our emotions or problems makes us feel calm and relived sometimes. In conclusion, even though people refrain from knowing their neighbours due to the demands of their jobs, they must not neglect the benefits they can bring in which help them in social growth. It is the duty of every individual to understand and realize the importance of good socioeconomic life.
In recent days, it is not an uncommon practice that few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware of those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
next
to them. This essay examines the causes and possible solutions for such practices.

One of the greatest reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not knowing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
is the lack of communication and interaction. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the percentage of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a family are more these days as compared to last few decades, which requires a family to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
to work in the morning and return
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by night.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of routines will deprive them of a chance of socializing with others who surround them.

However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to quit their jobs for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
social life, they may fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
living standard. Affording a car, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
apartment, would become a luxury to them.

Nevertheless
, these problems can
be solved
by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the value that
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
can bring in.
For instance
, if there is a medical emergency at home, they are the ones who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to aid at the
first
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
during those situations, they may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in having a decent socioeconomic life by assisting us in times of smaller economic crisis and
also
sharing our emotions or problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us feel calm and relived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refrain from knowing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
due to the demands of their jobs, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not neglect the benefits they can bring in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in social growth. It is the duty of every individual to understand and realize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
socioeconomic life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people s health Some say the way to ask people to eat less fast food is to educate them while others say education does not work 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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