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In some offices, employees work in enclosed workstations or cubicles. Other offices have a more open design, in which there are no walls separating employees from their coworkers. Which type of arrangement do you think is most effective? Explain, giving reasons to support your answer. v.1

In some offices, employees work in enclosed workstations or cubicles. Other offices have a more open design, in which there are no walls separating employees from their coworkers. Which type of arrangement do you think is most effective? Explain, giving reasons to support your answer. v. 1
It is quite difficult for me to select which type of office arrangement is the most effective as this is up to the contexts. To be clearer, organizations involving specific corresponding collaboration and cooperation jobs might need more open rooms to operate than others. Although there are advantages and disadvantages in both open and enclosed designs, in my opinion, I am convinced that the open one is more effective than the other as I used to work in this kind of workstation, and I realised this help boost up the productivity of their employees. So, how can this approach the work force of the companies? To answer this question, I will take my circumstance as a crystal example. Working in an environment without physical boundaries between employees is synonymous with cooperation. In other words, we can exchange information during working hours more quickly and effectively as if this is the most suitable arrangement for teamwork. Moreover, a smooth progress is also created that could improve their productivity as this has reduced risks of missed information between each team member while working. In addition, staff is now able to learn more things from their partners because once they open their mouth and express any words right on their seat, people around them are possible to hear that. I remember that it was the first year after I had been offered a job, I thought the office was too wide to hear my gossips. Nevertheless, I was wrong, one day I had rumoured with my beside partner, then the one sitting in a long distance from me stood up and asked me to keep quite, honestly, it was such a shame. To conclude, I bet that designing office in the type of open space is the most effective arrangement.
It is quite difficult for me to select which type of office arrangement is the most effective as this is up to the contexts. To be clearer, organizations involving specific corresponding collaboration and cooperation jobs might need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
rooms to operate than others. Although there are advantages and disadvantages in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
and enclosed designs, in my opinion, I
am convinced
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
one is more effective than the other as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work in this kind of workstation, and I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
boost up the productivity of their employees.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, how can this approach the work force of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
? To answer this question, I will take my circumstance as a crystal example. Working in an environment without physical boundaries between employees is synonymous with cooperation.
In other words
, we can exchange information during working hours more
quickly
and
effectively
as if this is the most suitable arrangement for teamwork.
Moreover
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "smooth progress".
a smooth progress
is
also
created that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity as this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of missed information between each team member while working.

In addition
, staff is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to learn more things from their partners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
once they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
their mouth and express any words right on their seat,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them are possible to hear that. I remember that it was the
first
year after I had
been offered
a job, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
the office was too wide to hear my gossips.
Nevertheless
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, one day I had
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumoured
with my beside partner, then the one sitting in a long distance from me stood up and asked me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
quite,
honestly
, it was such a shame.

To conclude
, I bet that designing office in the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
open
space is the most effective arrangement.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In some offices, employees work in enclosed workstations or cubicles. Other offices have a more open design, in which there are no walls separating employees from their coworkers. Which type of arrangement do you think is most effective? Explain, giving reasons to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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