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Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. Discuss the causes and propose some solutions. v.1

Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. Discuss the causes and propose some solutions. v. 1

In this generation, children are becoming less attentive in school. This essay will discuss two reasons why they are facing difficulties paying attention during classes. This essay will also tackle solutions to each cause. The decrease of the ability of a child to concentrate in class can be accounted for two primary reasons. Firstly, the use of gadgets during classes such as smartphones and video games. Children are being engrossed in playing these devices and as a result, they are not able to focus on the lesson that the teacher discusses. Secondly, they are not getting proper sleep. If a child is not getting the recommended 8 to 9 hours of sleep each night, they won’t have enough energy to focus as they will be feeling more sleepy rather than being active. The aforementioned problems can be properly handled by several solutions. First and foremost, would be imposing a ban on the use of gadgets during class hours. Teachers should educate their students on the responsible use of these gadgets that would benefit their studies. Parents, on the other hand should also guide their children at home so that they can prevent them using those devices in improper activities. Another possible solution is that, parents should establish a regular time for bedtime every night. There should be no TV, computer, smartphones and video games an hour prior to sleeping. In conclusion, this essay discussed two primary reasons that explained why children find it hard to concentrate at school. This essay also tackled that the immediate action taken by both teachers and parents, the issue would be resolved properly.

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essay
 will discuss two reasons why they are facing difficulties paying attention during You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfamilycollectiondivisionschooldegreeleague
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. This You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdissertationtreatisemanuscriptstudypaperthesis
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 will also
 tackle solutions to each cause.

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class
 can be accounted
 for two primary reasons. Firstly
, the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of gadgets during You use this word too often, consider replacing it withfamilycollectiondivisionschooldegreeleague
classes
 such as smartphones and video games. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
Children
 are being engrossed
 in playing these devices and as a result
, they are not able to focus on the lesson that the teacher discusses. Secondly
, they are not getting proper sleep. If a child is not getting the recommended 8 to 9 hours of sleep each night, they won’t have This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
enough
 energy to focus as they will be feeling more sleepy rather
 than being active.

The aforementioned problems can be properly
 handled by several solutions. First
 and foremost, would be imposing a ban on the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of gadgets during This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :coursetraining
class
 hours. Teachers should educate their students on the responsible This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 of these gadgets that would benefit their studies. Parents, on the other hand
 should also
 guide their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 at home This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that they can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :preclude
prevent
 them using those devices in improper activities. Another possible solution is that, parents should establish a regular time for bedtime every night. There should be no TV, computer, smartphones and video games an hour prior to sleeping.

In conclusion
, this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdissertationtreatisemanuscriptstudypaperthesis
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 discussed two primary reasons that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :interpreted
explained
 why You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 find it This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 to concentrate at school. This You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdissertationtreatisemanuscriptstudypaperthesis
essay
also
 tackled that the immediate action taken by both teachers and parents, the issue would be resolved
properly
. 

5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. Discuss the causes and propose some solutions. v. 1

Essay

American English

4 paragraphs

268 words

7.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 7.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 7.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 7.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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