In recent times, some might say that students should be allowed to take part in classes that they prefer; in contrast, others think that they should concentrate on courses that beneficial for their future careers. I feel that I agree with the later view.
On the one hand, studying nonacademic lessons such as music and sports facilitates pupils’ learning. This is because those classes play an important role in alleviating their stress; consequently, they understand better when taking place in other subjects. For example, a series of research consistently claimed that Thai undergraduates who attain courses about either music or sports that they like score significantly higher than the others. However, I strongly disagree with this opinion since collage is the most suitable place for knowledge acquisition, and it is better to focus on academic subjects.
On the other hand, students should emphasize on job-related abilities. A compelling reason is that academic competence can be gained only by a university education. As a result, they should entertain and cope with their pressure in their free time. For instance, a survey found that over 90% of organizations in Thailand expected graduates to have sufficient knowledge in their specializations before they start working. Therefore, I agree that pupils should take their core lessons seriously.
In conclusion, even if extracurricular lessons boost students’ performance by reducing their pressures, doing preferred activities during their spare time achieves the same result. As universities are the only places where academic knowledge, which is useful for their future paths and societies, is educated, those subjects should be focused.
In recent times,
some
might say that students should be
allowed
to
take part
in classes that they prefer;
in contrast
, others
think
that they should concentrate on courses that beneficial for their future careers. I feel that I
agree
with the later view.
On the one hand, studying nonacademic lessons such as music and sports facilitates pupils’ learning. This is
because
those classes play an
important
role in alleviating their
stress
;
consequently
, they understand better when taking place in
other
subjects.
For example
, a series of research
consistently
claimed that Thai undergraduates who attain courses about either music or sports that they like score
significantly
higher than the others.
However
, I
strongly
disagree with this opinion since collage is the most suitable place for knowledge acquisition, and it is better to focus on academic subjects.
On the
other
hand, students should emphasize on job-related abilities. A compelling reason is that academic competence can
be gained
only
by a university education.
As a result
, they should entertain and cope with their pressure in their free time.
For instance
, a survey found that over 90% of organizations in Thailand
expected
graduates to have sufficient knowledge in their specializations
before
they
start
working.
Therefore
, I
agree
that pupils should take their core lessons
seriously
.
In conclusion
, even if extracurricular lessons boost students’ performance by reducing their pressures, doing preferred activities during their spare time achieves the same result. As universities are the
only
places where academic knowledge, which is useful for their future paths and societies,
is educated
, those subjects should
be focused
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes