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Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. v.2

Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. v. 2
It is true that children face a lot of strains these days while sitting in a classroom and they cannot focus on their academic study well due to various reasons. Even though there are certain problems, parents and teachers can take proactive steps to mitigate this issue completely. There are many reasons behind the lack of concentration by children in schools. First and foremost, children often tend to use mobile phones or laptops as they are greatly influenced by advanced technology. As a result, they cannot stay a long time in a conventional classroom without operating such devices. Naturally, they develop discomfort in the classroom and they fail to attend whole class with higher concentration, whereas their mind will be in newer electronic gadgets instead of academic subjects. Moreover, since children have much more workload to study in schools in a limited time frame, they always try to save time as much as they can. For example, most of the pupils skip their meals, particularly breakfast to get a few amount of time for studying. This habit would negatively affect the physical health status of them, which will reduce the concentration ability. Besides, obviously, they become fatigued and weak because of the decreased level of glucose and energy. Environmental pollution and eating habits are two other reasons to affect students physically and mentally. This causes them to focus less on classes. Moreover, family issues, parents’ lack of attention and scarcity of qualified teachers are some other reasons that create this problem. However, these issues can be addressed effectively if certain steps are taken by parents and teachers. I believe the most obvious solution is that parents should control their children in the use of technological devices such as iPad, computers and smartphones, which helps to avoid physical and psychological health issues to a greater extent. It also reduces wavering nature of mind considerably and attention span would increase vastly. A further step would be - teachers and parents should teach students proper time management skills. Therefore children can fulfil responsibilities and duties without consuming more time. Another possibility is that nutritional lessons should be arranged in the school setting for improving the awareness among children regarding the adequacy of well-balanced diet while studying. Establishing schools in a calm and beautiful place, adding more fun while learning, arranging training for teachers regarding their behaviours towards children and a maintaining a healthy child-parent relationship can boost up the children’s attention in classrooms. To conclude, despite certain causes for the lack of children’s attention in classes, parents and teachers can solve this issue properly if they take correct precautions. So I hope concerned authority will consider these methods, while students possess such problems.
It is true that
children
face
a lot of
strains these days while sitting in a
classroom and
they cannot focus on their academic study well due to various
reasons
.
Even though
there are certain problems,
parents
and
teachers
can take proactive steps to mitigate this
issue
completely.

There are
many
reasons
behind the lack of concentration by
children
in
schools
.
First
and foremost,
children
often
tend to
use
mobile phones or laptops as they are
greatly
influenced by advanced technology.
As a result
, they cannot stay a long
time
in a conventional classroom without operating such devices.
Naturally
, they develop discomfort in the
classroom and
they fail to attend whole
class
with higher concentration, whereas their mind will be in newer electronic gadgets
instead
of academic subjects.
Moreover
, since
children
have much more workload to study in
schools
in a limited
time
frame, they always try to save
time
as much as they can.
For example
, most of the pupils skip their meals,
particularly
breakfast to
get
a
few amount
of
time
for studying. This habit would
negatively
affect the physical health status of them, which will
reduce
the concentration ability.
Besides
,
obviously
, they become fatigued and weak
because
of the decreased level of glucose and energy. Environmental pollution and eating habits are two other
reasons
to affect students
physically
and mentally. This causes them to focus less on classes.
Moreover
, family
issues
,
parents’
lack of
attention
and scarcity of qualified
teachers
are
some
other
reasons
that create this problem.

However
, these
issues
can
be addressed
effectively
if certain steps
are taken
by
parents
and
teachers
. I believe the most obvious solution is that
parents
should control their
children
in the
use
of technological devices such as iPad, computers and smartphones, which
helps
to avoid physical and psychological health
issues
to a greater extent. It
also
reduces
wavering nature of mind
considerably
and
attention
span would increase
vastly
. A
further
step would be
-
teachers
and
parents
should teach students proper
time
management
skills
.
Therefore
children
can fulfil responsibilities and duties without consuming more
time
.
Another possibility
is that nutritional lessons should
be arranged
in the
school
setting for improving the awareness among
children
regarding the adequacy of well-balanced diet while studying. Establishing
schools
in a calm and
beautiful
place, adding more fun while learning, arranging training for
teachers
regarding their
behaviours
towards
children
and a maintaining a healthy child-parent relationship can boost up the
children’s
attention
in classrooms.

To conclude
, despite certain causes for the lack of
children’s
attention
in classes,
parents
and
teachers
can solve this
issue
properly
if they take correct precautions.
So
I hope concerned authority will consider these methods, while students possess such problems.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate to pay attention in school. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
450 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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