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Children find it difficult to pay attention or concentrate on school study what are the reasons? How can we solve this problem? v.1

Children find it difficult to pay attention or concentrate on school study what are the reasons? How can we solve this problem? v. 1
Children’s education has always been a matter of great concern for parents. In today’s world, this has grown exponentially, mainly due to the constant changing world. One of the primary reasons for this, relates to a child’s concentration and small attention span. This essay will attempt to dissect this cause and propose some reasonable solutions that could help with mitigating this issue. Due to a child’s small attention span, conventional ways of teaching are inadequate in keeping their interest. In order to get through to a child, it is important to keep their interest for the duration of the study session or class and ensure they view it as a fun activity. Moreover, most schools find it hard to move away from traditional teaching methods such as dictation, using white boards, etc. , especially in some developing countries, and as a result fail to engage their students. Furthermore, with massive technological growth in recent years, children are attracted towards their phones, tablets, computers, TV, etc. and provide a major source of distraction for them. Many studies have even linked the use of these devices to the release of endorphins resulting in a further dependency on technology. Combine this with the lack of engagement in classroom and education provider’s resistance to adapting to the changing world results in children having difficulties in paying attention. This issue needs to be tackled on two fronts. Firstly, parents need to monitor and limit the use of technology outside of school hours. A structured schedule would be a good start and usage of phones & tablets may even be incorporated into a reward system. Schools should take responsibility for the second front. It is vital for them to coach themselves on changing technology and how it can be utilized for providing quality education to children. For instance, the use of interactive applications, modern teaching methodologies or structuring and creating custom curriculum for each child, based on their learning abilities, interests, etc. In conclusion, it is important to acknowledge and understand the problem, as well as its root cause, utilize modern solutions and creative thinking that caters for the ever-changing modern world. Parents and teachers need to understand children’s interests and how to keep them engaged, while delivering quality education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has always been a matter of great concern for parents. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, this has grown
exponentially
,
mainly
due to the constant changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. One of the primary reasons for this, relates to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
concentration and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
attention span. This essay will attempt to dissect this cause and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable solutions that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with mitigating this issue.

Due to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
attention span, conventional ways of teaching are inadequate in keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
for the duration of the study session or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and ensure they view it as a fun activity.
Moreover
, most schools find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from traditional teaching methods such as dictation, using white boards, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, and
as a result
fail to engage their students.

Furthermore
, with massive technological growth in recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are attracted
towards their phones, tablets, computers, TV, etc. and provide a major source of distraction for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies have even linked the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these devices to the release of endorphins resulting in a
further
dependency on technology. Combine this with the lack of engagement in classroom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provider’s resistance to adapting to the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having difficulties in paying attention.

This issue needs to
be tackled
on two fronts.
Firstly
, parents need to monitor and limit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology outside of school hours. A structured schedule would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and usage of phones & tablets may even
be incorporated
into a reward system. Schools should take responsibility for the second front. It is vital for them to coach themselves on changing technology and how it can
be utilized
for providing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of interactive applications, modern teaching methodologies or structuring and creating custom curriculum for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, based on their learning abilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
, etc.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to acknowledge and understand the problem,
as well
as its root cause, utilize modern solutions and creative thinking that caters for the ever-changing modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Parents and teachers need to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them engaged, while delivering quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Children find it difficult to pay attention or concentrate on school study what are the reasons? How can we solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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