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Nowadays it is common for people to get married and have children in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society? v.2

Nowadays it is common for people to get married and have children in their thirties rather than when they are younger. that this trend will benefit society? v. 2
Over the latest years, adults have been deciding to start a family later in life, commonly after thirty. Personally, I completely agree to postponing this giant commitment due to the following reasons. To begin with, older partners tend to discuss less, since they frequently more mature to deal with challenging circumstances, as a consequence, the relationship is more or less likely to be longer. For instance, while the divorce statistics among couples in their twenties is 35%, the numbers for those who have got married late is reduced by 15%. Additionally, reducing the number of young couples would decrease crime statistics, as several inmature partners regularly fight with it other, as a result, police could focus on more serious crimes. Furthermore, late parenthood might guarantee high-quality education to children, because mothers and father would be able to develop their career and have higher incomes, therefore, the kids could enrol in private schools as well as in extra activities. To illustrate, educational studies have shown that 85% of students sent to expensive academic institutions have parents over 30s. Moreover, experienced adults may be more patient to educate, thanks to the previous experiences in life, which lead to a healthier environment for raising children. To conclude, I do agree that delaying formal marriage as well a pregnancy is a positive modern changing. Due to the fact that not only would couples be more financially stable, but also more mature.
Over the latest years, adults have been deciding to
start
a family later in life,
commonly
after thirty.
Personally
, I completely
agree
to postponing this giant commitment due to the following reasons.

To
begin
with, older partners tend to discuss less, since they
frequently
more mature to deal with challenging circumstances, as a consequence, the relationship is more or less likely to be longer.
For instance
, while the divorce statistics among couples in their twenties is 35%, the numbers for those who have
got
married late is
reduced
by 15%.
Additionally
, reducing the number of young couples would decrease crime statistics, as several
inmature
partners
regularly
fight with it other,
as a result
, police could focus on more serious crimes.

Furthermore
, late parenthood might guarantee high-quality education to children,
because
mothers and father would be able to develop their career and have higher incomes,
therefore
, the kids could enrol in private schools
as well
as in extra activities. To illustrate, educational studies have shown that 85% of students
sent
to expensive academic institutions have parents over 30s.
Moreover
, experienced adults may be more patient to educate, thanks to the previous experiences in life, which lead to a healthier environment for raising children.

To conclude
, I do
agree
that delaying formal marriage
as well
a pregnancy is a
positive
modern changing. Due to the fact that not
only
would couples be more
financially
stable,
but
also
more mature.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays it is common for people to get married and have children in their thirties rather than when they are younger. that this trend will benefit society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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