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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world unfortunately it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world unfortunately it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, watching TV is becoming one of the most popular pastimes among children and adults, and in many cases, children even are addicted to TV programs. Some young children even download movies on their phones and watch them late at night without their parents knowing. Although watching TV may bring a range of benefits, it often is a source of numerous problems. This essay will look at both of the advantages and disadvantages of children watching TV. Let’s begin by looking at some plus points of children watching TV. One of the main benefits of this hobby is that it helps children to enrich knowledge which is not instructed at school. For example, young students may learn about wildlife conservation by watching Discovery, a channel that produces and broadcasts programs about animal and environment. Thus, the positive impact of watching TV on children learning is significant. On the flip side, television viewing can cause several health-related issues and behaviour problems in children. Children were likely to spend less time on outdoor activity to watch their favourite tv shows, so it leads to a sedentary lifestyle, which is the leading cause of obesity. In addition, being exposed to inappropriate content on television, children may experience frequent temper tantrums. These adverse effects of screen viewing on children are worth taking into consideration by parents. In conclusion, while watching TV could assist children in blowing off some steam, it would also affect their physical and mental health. Therefore, children should only be allowed to watch tv under parental supervision.
Nowadays, watching TV is becoming one of the most popular pastimes among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and adults, and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
even
are addicted
to TV programs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
even download movies on their phones and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them late at night without their parents knowing. Although watching TV may bring a range of benefits, it
The adverb 'often' is usually put after the verb 'is'.
often is
a source of numerous problems. This essay will look at both of the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching TV.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plus points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching TV. One of the main benefits of this hobby is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enrich knowledge which is not instructed at school.
For example
, young students may learn about wildlife conservation by watching Discovery, a channel that produces and broadcasts programs about animal and environment.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of watching TV on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learning is significant.

On the flip side, television viewing can cause several health-related issues and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
were likely to spend less time on outdoor activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it leads to a sedentary lifestyle, which is the leading cause of obesity.
In addition
,
being exposed
to inappropriate content on television,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may experience frequent temper tantrums. These adverse effects of screen viewing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are worth taking into consideration by parents.

In conclusion
, while watching TV could assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in blowing off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steam, it would
also
affect their physical and mental health.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
under parental supervision.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world unfortunately it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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