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1-NOWADAYS, THE GAP BETWEEN COUNTRYSIDE AND CITY SIDE HAS BEEN INCREASING WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE REASON AND HOW COULD IT BE RESOLVED? v.1

1-NOWADAYS, THE GAP BETWEEN COUNTRYSIDE AND CITY SIDE HAS BEEN INCREASING WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE REASON AND HOW COULD IT BE RESOLVED? v. 1
Children are the most fragile in life, they need the a guide to have the right way in life. Teaching children is not always easy, especially how to teach them to become good members of society. Both parents and school have responsibility for children's development On the one hand, parents have a duty to teach children how to be good members of the community. Since parents are the mirror of their children, they have the most effective with children. Children would do the same things as their parents so parents should become the good example and teach them in the right manner. For example, children may mimic their parents in the way of speaking, treating other people or even hobbies. On the other hand, the institute has importance to teach children how to be good members of the association. By using most of time at school, children gain much knowledge on a daily basis. This means that children should be taught all aspects of life. For instance, school could teach children some social skills such as greetings, politeness, . . . because they usually stay at school from the morning to the evening, this time they do not stay with parents but with friends and teachers. In conclusion, it is obvious that parents and school collaborate on the way teaching children to become good members of society. It's really harmful that one side do not care children or judge these works are belong to another. Parents and school must balance the burden and help children growing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the most fragile in life, they need
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
guide to have the right way in life. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not always easy,
especially
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of society. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have responsibility for children's development

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a duty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the community. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the mirror of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they have the most effective with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
would do the same things as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them in the right manner.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may mimic their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the way of speaking, treating other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or even hobbies.

On the other hand
, the institute has importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the association. By using
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gain much knowledge on a daily basis. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
all aspects of life.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as greetings, politeness
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
they
usually
stay at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
from the morning to the evening, this time they do not stay with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with friends and teachers.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
collaborate on the way teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of society. It's
really
harmful that one side do not care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or judge these works are
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to another.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
balance the burden and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1-NOWADAYS, THE GAP BETWEEN COUNTRYSIDE AND CITY SIDE HAS BEEN INCREASING WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE REASON AND HOW COULD IT BE RESOLVED? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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